Page 125 of The 21-Day Boyfriend
I’ve gone too far in this thing. I’ve let myself get sucked into his handsome smile, his kind eyes. I started to hope, to believe, to expect something from him that I knew would never come. And now all that’s left for me to do is take stock of my own disappointment.
* * *
ERIC HELPSME into my coat. “You’re quiet,” he says, as I thank him with a smile.
After talking about my family, and feeling Eric start to distance himself, I’ve closed off again, as I always do. I can’t ever seem to scale the wall someone has built before me; I simply let them build it, accepting the consequences.
“I’m just tired,” I say, quickly trying to justify myself.
“Long day?”
“Yeah.”
He opens the front door to his grandmother’s house and we step outside. The air is icy, snowflakes falling from the night sky. When we reach his car, Eric grabs my hand and invites me to turn to him. These are the kind of gestures that confuse me; I don’t know how to take them. They make me hope for something that will never happen.
“Why didn’t you tell me about your family?”
I shrug and avert my gaze.
“Sean,” Eric says, his voice catching.
“It never came up.”
“Were you scared I’d leave?”
How could I make you leave when you’ve never really set foot into my life?
“What do you mean…?”
His hand slides down my cheek.
“It feels like we haven’t seen each other for a lifetime.”
“It’s only been a few days,” I say.
I have to keep my emotions in check.
“And soon it’ll be Christmas, and then…”
“Then…”
“I don’t know.” I pull away from him, his hand sliding away. “I think I’m just tired. I’m gabbling.”
I open the car door and climb in. Eric follows suit.
“Do you want to go home?”
I look at him.
“I thought we might… Maybe… Go to mine.”
I smile politely at him. “It’s best if we don’t.”
Eric turns on the ignition and switches on the heating.
“Is it something I’ve done?”
I want to tell him that it’s something he hasn’t done; but I’d prefer to keep that to myself for now.
