Page 66 of Volatile

Her eyes dip to the takeout bag in my hand, her throat bobbing as she swallows, wanting to taste my guiltiest pleasure. I’ve tried getting her to eat with me and she always refuses, but I do it again and hold out a wrapped burger for her.

“Come on, sweetness, you make me self-conscious when I have to eat alone.”

Fuck, it’s the wrong thing to say because her face falls. I kick the door closed and erase the distance between us, dropping the bag on the table. I go to her and hold her face so I can fix whatever the fuck I did.

She closes her eyes and tries to regulate her breathing. I’ve seen her work, sit amongst the most depraved fuckers and then struggle to climb out of it. I press my lips to her crown without adding any pressure to her fracturing mind. She’s dressed in more layers than usual, increasing her armor, and she shakes against me. I can only see that shit in little spurts, a filtered window of bad but not the worst shit like she filters through.

Her voice comes out haunted and small, punishing herself when it’s not her fault, as she says, “I can’t find the house, but the audio files are online.”

She’s taking too much ownership of crimes that aren’t on her shoulders.I’m shit at the hacking stuff she does, but I still offer to look through it.

“Leave it with me, Asya. Have something to eat then go to sleep.”

Her smile comes out from my chest but she’s still shaking. My girl is sweet as fuck and holds her laugh back to press her lips to my jaw. I try to get her lips on mine, but she moves her head back with an excuse. “I’m on my period, want my mouth?”

There’s no reluctance in her offer, but I just want to be with her, my dick can spend one night without stimulation. My voice is low, uncertain how she’ll react as I ask, “I don’t want to fuck you, can you just be with me?”

She pointedly presses her hips into mine and raises a brow, making me correct myself.

“Okay, I alwayswantto fuck you. But I want to be with you more. Why did you leave?”

She relaxes and strokes up my nape as we stand in the dark with the muted light coming through the window.

“I need to find it, Tali, sometimes when I dream, I can hear them. Their little voices are begging for help, and I don’t know who else has heard them, but I can bet my life that the sick fucks are getting off on it, not being haunted by them. If I don’t help them, then their begging is entertainment, and they don’t deserve that. No one does.”

I nod and take a deep breath. It’s fucked up and heartbreaking, I don’t want her near it, but I can’t stop her when it’s the right thing to do. I pick her up and grab our food to go to her little hacking cave. The room is even darker and colder than it was last time. There’s still nothing comfortable in the space and the low lights from the singular screen she’s using make it appear more sinister. Thankfully, there are no images shown as she has a program running to find a location. Sitting in the middle of the room, I place her on my thigh with her back to my chest and she changes one of the monitors to play the sequel of my comfort slasher while the program runs.

I’ll die trying to get her to eat and I can feel her watching me unwrap the burger. I place it at her lips without looking at her and wait. She’s getting better with trying things and not being as rigid, but it’s a battle and her argument is bullshit.

“The wedding is in two days. I won’t fit into my dress.”

I’ll buy her a new one that her cunt mother didn’t pick out to make her feel uncomfortable and Stasi actually wants to fucking wear.

“It’s a burger, malysh, not a banquet. You won’t even notice it.”

She’s hungry I can feel it in her stare. She usually watches me rather than the food, and my tone comes out bored while anticipation snakes around me, hoping she picks the right option.

“I’ll give you an hour of no talking if you eat it.”

Either way I win, she can complain about my mouth, but my girl always smiles and answers my questions now. Huffing playfully, she takes it from my hand and settles against me, watching the slasher. It takes every morsel of control in my body not to open my mouth when she moans, and I shove my own food in to trap it. I’d choke on my fist if I needed to because she’s my perfect woman.

I finish before her and wipe my greasy fingers on her cheek, she turns rigid and looks at my hand with disgust. Cleaning her cheek with a napkin and an apology has her going cold.

“My bad, it’s a habit. I’d always do it to Dani.”

We were dumbass kids and she’d act like it was gross while we watched movies, but Stasi deflates and tries to move away from me. It’s not even a big fucking deal, I’ll wash her face, and she uses all my products, so she’ll be fine.

The small uncertain voice leaving her has me smiling with realization.

“Did you and Dani ever...”

She doesn’t say the word and I smile wider at her jealousy. My girl who doesn’t give a fuck about anything is fucking jealous. Val would have my balls if I ever touched his wife, even if she was mine first and the thought of fucking my best friend isn’t one I can entertain unless it was one of our childish petty games.

“Never have, never would,” I say easily.

She slept in my bed for years and we never crossed a line. Life would have been easier if I could think of Dani like that, I’d have everything I wanted by now but in my head she’s not really a girl, she’s just Dani.

Disbelief coats Stasi’s features and she pushes against my shoulder, searching my eyes as she asks, “So, you never even thought about it? She’s beautiful and you’re close as fuck.”

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