Page 88 of Beware of Dog

Cass felt her face heat, but nodded.

“The first time,” she said, “he unzipped my dress, and brushed my hands away when I went to touch him. He wanted me to lie flat on my back on the bed, and he didn’t evenattemptforeplay. We were like two planks banging together at the lower halves.”

Cass snorted. “Oh my God!”

“It was dreadful! Utterly bloodless. It was worse than a pelvic exam! My friends thought I was insane when I dropped him. ‘You have a go,’ I told them. ‘See if he knows what a clitoris is.’”

Cass giggled. “Charles was not a keeper, I take it.”

“No,” Raven agreed. “And then there was Henri.”

“I don’t remember a Henri.”

“That was when I spent the summer in Paris.”

“Ah.”

“He was an artist. Lovely boy. Long hair, and this little patchy beard, and tattoos on his wrists. He painted me, and we ate fresh figs from the garden of the house where he was staying.”

“Not another plank, I take it.”

“No. It was very good. A little soft, but.” Raven shook her head, mouth curving downward, and Cass could tell that her fond memories of Henri weren’t all that fond. “We were walking along the Seine one night, hand-in-hand. There was a festival on, and all these lights, and crowds, and happy couples strolling. A man stepped in front of us with a knife, and demanded our valuables.”

“You were robbed?”

“Yes. And what did Henri do? Heshovedme at the man. He made me a bloody human shield!”

“Christ.”

“Henri may have been a talented lover, and an even more talented artist, but he wasn’t a man. Not like I wanted, deepdown. When the situation turned dangerous, he was a frightened mouse.” She tipped her head back against the headboard to give Cass a serious look. “No one puts a sign in their yard proclaiming ‘Beware of Artist.’”

Cass swallowed hard.

“All those times I urged you to find a boy at school…that was wrong of me. I wanted your life to be simpler and safer, but I’ve never felt safer than I do with Toly. If you’d had a Henri of your own, I would have worried constantly. When you’re out there in the city with Shep at your back, I don’t ever worry. I know he’d rip the throat out of anyone who raised a hand to you.”

Cass nodded, eyes starting to sting again. “I know that it—it probably seems like he’s…I don’t know, taking advantage. That he’spreyingon me or something. But it’s not like that. We’refriends.”

“I know you are.”

“He really does love me.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Raven lifted her hand from Natalia’s back and wiped a tear from Cass’s cheek. “I know he does. He loves you desperately.”

Cass could only shake her head, marveling that Raven couldknow. That she couldbelieve.

Raven sighed. “I’m not sure he even knew himself, or that it wasthatsort of love, at first. I watched him watch you for a long time, and I told myself it was just as you’d said: friends. He’s not the most charming of the bunch, I know. But you gave him a soft place to land. But at Christmas, that’s when I knew for sure. Remember those headphones he gave you? The ones with the little cat ears on top?”

“Yeah.” They were currently resting on the nightstand back at the club flat. Back home.

“The look on his face when you opened them. When you smiled.” Raven glanced toward the ceiling and blew out a breath, as though bowled over. “Christ. It was staggering.”

Cass wished now that she’d been watching him, that she’d seen it for herself.

“My point is,” Raven said. “There’s a part of me that wishes you’d chosen an easier road…but I know that we don’t always pick our roads that way. The heart wants what it wants.” Her lips twitched sideways into a smile. “You always wanted a Dog, didn’t you?”

“I always wanted someone to love me for who I am,” Cass corrected, and Raven blinked, her eyes filling.

“Well done, then, darling. That’s exactly what you have.”

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