“We’re going to your sister’s for dinner. She, uh…” He winced. “She knows everything.”
~*~
Cass wasn’t angry with Shep. He’d expected her to be, clearly, but there was something sweet about him having crumbled: he wanted to look after her, even if that put him in an uncomfortable position. He assured her that Raven wasn’t angry, either, but that she wanted to talk to Cass.
By the time they approached the door of Raven and Toly’s flat, Cass’s heart was throbbing low in her stomach like the time she’d been called to the headmistress’s office in primary school for sticking gum in another girl’s hair. She was going to get a lecture, and it didn’t matter how old she grew, she didn’t want one.
“It’ll be fine,” Shep assured, one last time, stroking her back as she let them in the door.
Yeah right.
Toly was in the kitchen, phone pressed to his ear. He tilted it away and said, “I’m ordering pizza, what do you want?” Then, to Cass, softening a fraction, “Raven’s in the bedroom.”
Cass took a deep breath, nodded, and turned that direction.
Behind her, she heard glass bottles rattling in the fridge as Shep got a beer. “Cass likes that alfredo shit with the artichokes,” he said, failing to mention that the last time they’d ordered that, he’d inhaled more than half the pizza without complaint and licked the grease off his fingers afterward.
“Oh yeah, Raven too,” Toly said.
The door to the main bedroom was ajar, and Cass eased it open with a push, lingering on the threshold.
Raven was on the bed, the coverlet folded back, sitting up against the upholstered headboard in a black tracksuit, nursing Natalia. Raven was gazing down at the baby, stroking her soft little cheek, expression reverent. She lifted her head when the door opened, and the softness didn’t leave her face as she gazed upon Cass.
“Hello, darling,” she said, quietly, and tipped her head to the empty space beside her, the half of the bed that must be Toly’s. “Come join me.”
Cass stood rooted. “I know what you’re going to say, and none of it will change my mind.”
Raven’s brows flicked, mild curiosity. “Oh? You know what I’ll say?”
Cass folded her arms, cold with nerves. “You’re going to say that I’m too young, and he’s too old. That I’m too inexperienced to know what or who I really want, and that I shouldn’t tie myself down so soon. That I should go out and see the world, and travel, and date boys my own age. You’re going to say that being a Lean Dog’s old lady is a burden, which is completely hypocritical because you’re a Lean Dog’s old lady, but you’ll probably say something about you being old enough, and ready enough, and wealthy enough to handle that burden. You’re going to say that Shep is an asshole, and he is, but he’smyasshole, and he’s very good to me, and I love him dearly, and…” She trailed off when Raven smiled, tired and fond. “What?”
“Cassandra,” Raven said, so warm and loving it immediately put tears in Cass’s eyes. “Come sit down, darling.”
Cass toed off her boots and climbed into bed at her sister’s side, close enough their arms pressed together. Raven was warm, and smelled of Chanel No. 5 and milk. The sheets, when Cass settled, smelled like that, too, and a whiff of men’sdeodorant. She had the absurd sense of experiencing something novel that she’d never had the chance to do as a little girl: climbing into her parents’ bed. There had only ever been Mum and Raven, Dad a thrilling visitor, like Santa Claus.
Raven said, “Shep came to see me today. He told me all about Jamie.”
“Ugh.”
“Yes, we’ll get to that. And all about you and him. He shouted at me about that, actually.” She chuckled. “He said I’d have to shoot him to keep him away from you.”
“Oh.” Cass couldn’t deny that warmed her insides to hear.
Nat was growing sleepy. Raven shifted her around, tugged her shirt back into place, and lifted the baby onto her shoulder to be burped. “Did I ever tell you about that man I dated for a while in London? Charles?”
Cass shook her head, bemused by the non-sequitur.
“I had to call him Charles,” Raven continued, “and never Charlie, thanks to our Charlie.”
“That’d be twisted.”
“Yes. So I called him Charles. He was very handsome. Very patrician; well-dressed, and perfectly-groomed. He had flawless manners. I took him to all sorts of events and he performed like a Thoroughbred. Everyone told me he was a keeper and that I should hold onto him.
“The first time we shagged—”
“Uh,” Cass said, because they’d never been those kinds of sisters before.
“Oh no,” Raven said, grinning while she patted the baby’s back. “You’re a grown woman now, we can talk like girlfriends. Besides, there’s no way you’re sleeping withthat manand are still bashful.”