She let her head droop forward a bit, braced her hands on her hips and closed her eyes. She could really use his assurance right now. Yet he stayed hidden. “Fine. Have it your way. Stay hidden. I don’t need you. No reason I can’t do everything by myself, just like I always do. And as for you… I quit. Go away.”
She turned and walked back into her feed store, pausing just inside the door as she looked around at the sparse stock on the shelves. No one came to buy anything anymore. The farmers around her had tried to help her stay in business for as long as they could, but there weren’t many left. And those that were left wanted the new feeds that had been developed with sure-health formulas for the livestock and sure-grow formulas for the seeds. She couldn’t afford to buy those feeds and seeds. They’d been treated with biofertilizers, and hormones and antibiotics. There was nothing natural about them. She wasn’t sure she wanted to buy them, even if she had the means. They just weren’t natural.
“What is wrong with natural?!” she yelled to the dusty, almost empty feed store.
She heard her donkeys braying and sat down on the floor to cry. “What am I going to do with them?” she asked through her sobs.
“Why do you cry female?” a deep gravelly voice said from behind her.
Mel jumped to her feet and swiped at her eyes multiple times trying to quickly wipe her tears away.
“It’s none of your business. You can go now, I don’t need you.”
“You don’t cry,” he said simply.
“I can cry any time I choose to!”
He shook his head. “You have never cried before. You don’t cry.”
Mel sighed and turned her back on him, leaving him standing there as she made her way through the store closing windows, turning off lights. When she was done she walked right out the front door and left him standing there. She didn’t pause, she just walked at a slow and steady pace around the building toward the pastures behind her store.
Va’roush watched her for only a moment before he followed her.
Mel walked up to the goat enclosure and scratched the butts of those who offered them for scratching. Next she stopped at the corral the donkeys were in and scratched between their ears as they noisily greeted her. She hugged their heads to her chest, kissing their noses. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to you. They sold it. They sold everything.”
The old cow in a neighboring enclosure put its nose over the top railing, waiting for her turn to be petted.
Mel obliged, walking over to her and stroking her forehead. “I won’t give you to just anyone. If I’m not sure they’ll take care of you, they can’t have you!” she insisted, before letting out a sob as her crying threatened to take hold again.
“Why do you think of selling your beasts?” Va’roush asked.
“Please go away,” she asked.
“I want to know,” he insisted.
“I want you to go. Please. Just go. You don’t help me. All you do is watch and pretend you’re not here. I don’t even know why you’re here. Why didn’t you go with your friends?” she demanded, turning on him angrily. “You have no place here!” She paused and looked around the pens she’d built for all her animals, and the dusty ground with its scraggly grasses. The trees older than any of the family she could remember from her childhood. “I have no place here anymore.”
Va’roush remained where he was, not quite sure what was happening, but recognizing the emotions she was struggling with. It was clear she was experiencing anger and frustration, and doing her best to maintain control. She was also feeling desperation, and even hopelessness. There was no way he’d misinterpret those emotions, he had them enough himself that they were the basis of his makeup.
Mel turned away from him, making her way to the smaller animals she called bunnies. He called them rabbits, and had they not been her creatures, he’d have most likely cooked one or two occasionally. She knelt in the middle of the enclosure and scooped up one of the creatures stroking its soft fur lovingly.
Va’roush took that opportunity to step away from her. She’d asked him to do just that, and since he wasn’t sure how to alleviate her unrest, he decided to do the one thing she asked him to — go away. But he didn’t go far. That he couldn’t do. Something inside made him want to remain near, but he would remain out of her way, just like he had until this day.
Perched comfortably in his favorite tree, camouflaged by the leaves and branches, he watched as she left the bunnies and fed the chickens, then stopped to pet the noisy, furry creatures called dogs,who excitedly jumped up to compete for her attention. Regardless of the creatures she tended, one thing was constant… she was sniffling, or wiping tears from her eyes as though she’d never see them again. He didn’t understand that part. This was her land. These were her beasts. These were her buildings. Why was she behaving as though they weren’t?
When she finally went back into the store, she didn’t even bother locking herself in for the night. She just walked throughthe store to the back storeroom where she slept and fell into her bed. She cried for a few more hours, then fell into an exhausted sleep.
Va’roush waited until he knew she was asleep, then he let himself inside her store, and knelt on the floor at the foot of her bed. He stayed there for hours, watching over her.
Sometime before dawn she opened her eyes and before she was fully awake knew she wasn’t alone.
“What do you want?” she asked.
“To understand,” he answered, his naturally guttural voice oddly soothing to her.
“Go away.”
“Not until I understand what has changed you.”