Page 194 of Something Rad
“I didn’tlether kiss me, Cooper–” I grit.
“Right, I’ll give you that. But you also weren’t the one to pull away.”
My head pulls back.
Okay…she’s not wrong.
“And you certainly didn’t try too hard to get her off of you.”
“My God, Cooper.” I run a hand down my face. “She caught me off guard, okay? She totally shocked me. What was I supposed to do? Throw her off of me?”
“That would have been better than what youdiddo,” she laughs humorlessly. “Which was nothing.”
I’m getting frustrated. I don’t see a way out of this. It’s like Cooper has already made up her mind about how this conversation is going to go, already planned for all of her responses without even knowing what I’m going to say. It feels useless to even try. I may as well ask her to fill in the gaps for me.
The words tumble out of my mouth. “What do you want me to say?”
“What?” she asks, her shoulders dropping.
“You heard me,” I tell her. “I asked what you want me to say. Because clearly you aren’t going to be satisfied with anything I come up with. You won’t even hear me out. I just…” I trail off, my tongue pushing into the side of my cheek. “How did this get so messed up so fast?”
Cooper rolls her lips into her mouth, shaking her head. “The fact that you don’t even know tells me that you may as well not say anything else. You’re just wasting both our time.”
I tilt my head at her, and she breaks my eye contact, dropping her head and looking away.
I’m so mad at her. I don’t know what she wants. She’s frustrating the hell out of me.
So why do I just wanna wrap her in my arms and kiss her?
“Cooper…” I reach for her wrist, and surprisingly, she doesn’t stop me. “Please, I’m trying, okay? You know I’m not good at this. You know I’ve never even really had totryto be good at this. But that’s because…this is different. You’re different. My usual shit doesn’t work on you. And, as frustrating as it is, I live for that. You make me put in the work. You make me work for it.”
She bites down on her bottom lip, still not looking at me. “Robbie, I never expected that much of you. But do you really have to work that hard to just…notbreak my heart?”
“I guess I do,” I whisper, completely honest.
“Please let me go,” Cooper breathes. I let her pull out of my grasp, but I don’t let her walk away, sticking my arm out and blocking her way.
“Look, I get the stuff in the hallway. I know what you’re thinking. I know it sounded awful–that itwasawful, but I’m trying to tell you, Alice walked up late and missed a lot of context. Paul said some vile shit. I know that doesn’t excuse what I said, but he made me snap. I wish I could take back what I said about the other girls. I didn’t mean it. But I know that doesn’t matter now. Regardless, I understand why you’re mad about that.”
Cooper raises her head just slightly, and it makes me think for the first time that I may be getting somewhere.
“When it comes to the courtyard though,” I continue, “I don’t understand why you’re mad about that. I did that for you. I had to get your attention. And that song… Cooper, it’syou. I heard it earlier today and it was just too perfect. I wasn’t recycling some previous performance and I wasn’t thinking about anyone else when I did it. If you thought I was, I guess I can get why you’d be mad.” She looks up at me now, her brows pulling together.
“But the Denise thing… C’mon, Cooper. You were there. It wasn’t my fault we both wonBest All Around. I haven’t spoken to Denise by choice in months. You saw she grabbed me. That she initiated the kiss. And yeah, I didn’t immediately shove her off. But it all happened so fast. My brain was running on such overdrive that it took a few seconds for me to even realize what was happening, and, by then, it was too late.” I pause, swallowing as I maintain Cooper’s unwavering gaze. “Cooper, I was so focused onyou. I was just trying to get to you. Totalkto you.”
“So that you could cover your ass over what you said in the hallway before Alice could get to me first?” she jumps in.
My shoulders relax as it seems she’s finally putting the pieces together. “Yes,” I nod, “exactly.”
“But then you got called up for the award.”
“Yes,” I agree, urging her on.
“And then, probably because she saw me taking the photo, Denise kissed you.”
“Yes,” I say again, feeling like a broken record but just happy to finally be heard.
Cooper’s lips press together. “And I’m not supposed to be mad at you because…” she trails off. At first, I think she’s going to continue speaking, but she doesn’t, instead quirking her head at me like she’d like me to finish for her.
