Page 24 of Forgive Me Father: For I Have Sinned

“Right this way please,” she grabbed our menus before leading us to a table next to the windows overlooking the sound. This was by far the best place I’d ever eaten at, and the view was to die for.

She handed us each a menu. “Your waiter will be with you in a moment. Enjoy your dinner.”

I opened the menu and started scanning it, but every time I looked up, I caught Butch looking at me, oddly. By the third time, I found it to be a bit unnerving. “Am I making you uncomfortable?” I asked him as I sat my menu aside.

He swallowed, pulling at his collar. “You’re ah, you’re not my usual type.”

“Excuse me,” I said, deciding it was best to leave before pissy Jamie made an appearance. I guess I was walking home in these damn shoes after all.

As I turned to scoot out of the booth, he grabbed my hand. “Please Jamie, sit. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“What did you mean exactly?”

“The um, uncomfortable part is only affecting one part of me,” he looked down at his lap.

“Oh, oh.” suddenly it dawned on me. “Fair enough.”

We made idyll chit chat through dinner. He told me about his family who lived nearby on Whidbey Island. His parents were both retired, and he was an only child. He spent eight years in the Marines but now worked as a bodyguard in the private sector with his best friend and former seal team member Kegan. His family sounded wonderful, and I found myself hoping I’d get to meet them one day.

“How did your parents react when you told them you were gay?” I asked him after we ordered dessert, deciding to split a slice of key lime pie.

“I was seventeen when I told them. My dad got angry and said, you’re joining the army. I told him nope, I’d already enlisted in the Marines,” Butch laughed. “When I became a Seal, he told me how proud of me he was and apologized for feeling otherwise based on who I loved. My dad is old school military, grew up with blinders on but now his eyes are wide open. Who you love doesn’t define you, your actions and the person you are inside is what does.”

I’d never heard truer words spoken, times were changing, and it was giving me hope for the LGBT youth of the future. All those kids at the youth center, shunned by their families just as I was. My heart broke for every one of them. I wished I would’ve known there was a place out there I could’ve turned to in my time of need, maybe my life would’ve been different. If it had been, would my path still have crossed with this wonderful man sitting in front of me?

After dinner, he drove me home, but I had him pull around the back where the stairs to the apartment were.

“Jamie,” he said after putting the car in park behind the building. “Can I see you again?”

“Yes, I’d like that.”

“I might have to take an out of town assignment, but I’ll let you know as soon as I know for sure. Then we can set something up.”

“That’s fine.” I hated the idea of not seeing him sooner, but I understood his job required him to travel. If Daniel and Marcus could make it work with Marcus’ crazy schedule, then we could too.

“Would it be alright if I kissed you goodnight?” he asked me.

“Please.”

He turned, cupping my face in his hands, running the pad of his thumb along my bottom lip before leaning over and sucking on it. My eyes closed, as his lips met mine. Our heads turned as the kiss deepened and when our tongues met, it was electrifying. Corny as that may sound, the shock that ripped through my body spoke volumes. I wanted to do this right, this dating thing so before things got too hot, I broke the kiss and told him goodnight.

When I reached the top of the stairs, I waved down to him, but he didn’t pull away until I was safely inside. I was a love-struck teen at the age of twenty.

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