Page 42 of In the Shadows

“Folks, as you can see this is a rough time for these guys right now. They ask that you allow them their privacy. Allow them to grieve for their fallen brother. Allow them to pray in peace for their friend and lover who’s still fighting for his life. Thank you for coming today.” He waved to the crowd before security escorted the five of us out of the room and into the elevator.

The ride up to Joey’s floor was met with silence as I’m sure the trauma we’d each faced was at the forefront of our minds.

“Hey guys,” Derek stopped us before we entered the room. “We’re gonna take off. I’ll text you our room numbers. If you need a break, don’t hesitate and if anything changes,” he gestured to Joey’s room, “let us know right away, please.”

“Man, what you guys have done for us is beyond words. Fuck, I’m blown away,” I told him.

“That’s what friends are for,” Ryder said, hugging me as best he could with my sling in the way. We said our goodbyes before the three of us went inside, finding Easton, Joe and my mom holding vigil at Joey’s side.

“Any change?” I asked, knowing the answer was no, but hoping to hear something different.

They all shook their heads, confirming what I already knew.

“The car is waiting outside, but I wanted to wait until you got back,” my mom said. “We watched it live on TV.”

I watched as she kissed Joey’s forehead before hugging Joe and the others before we headed outside.

I was hoping the crowd would have dissipated in the time since the interview, but the masses were still huddled outside of the hospital entrance. But much to my surprise, they parted when the car pulled up. Silence filled the air as I said goodbye to my mother.

“He’ll come back to you, Ricky,” she said, cupping my face in her tiny hands. “Have faith, my son. I know it’s not something you’ve ever embraced, but give it a try. I love you.”

“I love you too, Mom.” I leaned down into her hug, finding what little solace I could in her loving arms. “Give Brando and Brett a hug for me.”

“I will,” she said before getting into the car and driving away.

I stood there for a few minutes, surprised and thankful no one approached me. When I turned to head back inside, I saw the bench to the left of the hospital entrance covered in flowers and balloons. Words of thoughts and prayer scribbled on poster boards, filling my heart to the brim. I pulled out my phone, taking a picture of the shrine our fans had erected and after drawing in a cleansing breath, I turned, giving them a wave of thanks before security followed me back inside and up to Joey’s room where I’d take my place at his side waiting for any signs of life.

When I got back to the room, the guys were debating about going to lunch. I was starving and jumped right in, “Hey, head on out and bring me back a burger and fries please.”

Joe asked for the same as we took our seats on opposite sides of Joey.

“They brought in a makeshift bed for you this morning.” He bobbed his head in the direction of the corner behind me. “Guess you made it clear you weren’t leaving.” He laughed.

I glanced behind me, shaking my head. There was no way a man of my height could sleep in a bed befitting someone the size of Tinkerbell. But it was what it was. “Not a chance in hell I’m leaving his side. I want him to hear my voice, I need him to know I’m here. I need him to come back to me, Joe.”These fucking tears are going to be the death of me, I swear.I grabbed my bag, pulling my dad’s dog tags out of it, sliding them on over my head where they belonged. I began rubbing them between my thumb and forefinger, praying to whatever deity there may be to bring Joey back to us.

“Did I ever tell you the story about the first time your dad and I got drunk?” Joe’s voice shook me from my internal chanting.

“Joe, I can’t honestly say that you and I have ever talked about my dad before. All I know is what you’ve shared with Joey, that he obviously passed on to me and what my mom has told me.”

“Well then, you know your dad and I were friends from early on. Much like you and my boy are. Had a similar experience in our early teens, but instead of Stoli Vodka ours was some cheap ass rum my dad had and I puked all over the inside of my mom’s car. She chased me around the backyard with a belt,” he laughed, clearly recalling the entire scene. “I definitely put my parents through some shit, Stoli.” He arched his brow and eyed me, knowingly. All this time he was aware of how my nickname came to be, yet he never said anything.

My respect for Joe just went up several notches knowing that. “You do know that whole Stoli incident falls on my shoulders and not Joey’s, right?”

“He’s got a voice of his own, had he not wanted to do it he could have said no. But in my eyes, you were both just a couple of curious kids. No different than me and your dad were.”

I wanted to ask how he found out, but by the same token, I wanted to let sleeping dogs lie. What was done was done, but it was kinda cool to hear this apple didn’t fall far from the proverbial tree. I wonder how many more similarities there were between me and my dad.

Sitting there, watching Joey lie there showing no signs of life outside of what the machines told us was ripping my fucking heart out. Holding his hand in mine, I placed my lips against the backside, running it along my cheek and whispered to him. Somewhere inside his mind, my voice was being heard. Or so I was wishing…

“Hey Stoli,” Mickey said, handing me a bag from a burger joint they’d found.

“Thanks, man.” I’d had enough hospital food to last me a lifetime. Taking the first bite, my eyes rolled back in my head and I released and orgasmic moan.

“Damn, dude, did you just come or what?” Diamond teased.

Mickey damn near shot soda out his nose and Joe was cracking up.

“Close.” I couldn’t shovel the food in fast enough. I hadn’t realized how freaking hungry I’d been until taking that first bite. “How long are you guys gonna stay around for?”

---