Page 43 of In the Shadows

They looked at each other and shrugged before Diamond answered, “Hadn’t really thought about it. I think Easton’s gonna head back in the next day or two. Do some damage control with the fans.”

“We have a brother down, we need to pull our forces together and try to channel our energy and do what we can for him.” Sweet, sweet Mickey and his inner hippie. Sometimes the shit he said threw me for a loop, but this time I knew it was spoken from the heart.

“We’ll stay for a few more days at least, see if there’s anything we can help with,” Diamond added.

My eyes brimmed with tears from the love our brothers have shown. Joe looked on the verge himself, so I knew their words didn’t fall on deaf ears.

We sat, toying with our new phones. Easton had given me Joey’s before he left so I was getting his favorite games reloaded on it and downloading the pics I had saved to the cloud back onto mine. I’d hoped Joey had done the same with his when he bought more cloud space.

Scrolling through mine, sadness consumed me.I can’t lose him, I just can’t.Lyrics flashed through my mind, telling a story. A story of love lost, love found, love attempted to be taken away again and I needed to get these down on paper.Ugh, all the songs Joey and I had written together on the bus were now gone.

“Hey, when you guys come back tomorrow would you mind stopping by a store and grabbing me a couple of notebooks and some pens?” I asked as the guys stood, calling it a night.

“Yeah man, anything else you need?”

“Not that I can think of, Easton stocked my bag pretty well. He really pays attention to everything from the kind of clothes we like to the deodorant we use.” I shook my head, stunned at the level of precision he exhibited.

“Joe, you need anything?” Diamond asked him.

“Nah, my bags are at the hotel and with Ricky here I’ll be able to rest a bit more. We can take the watch in shifts.”

“Sounds good. We’re off to have dinner with Easton before he flies back to Seattle later tonight. See you guys tomorrow,” Mickey said. They waved as the door shut behind them.

“I’m gonna head out. Call me immediately if there’s any change.” The somber look on Joe’s face as he touched Joey’s forehead before turning and leaving the room pained me. We were all suffering in our own way.

“Joey, baby,” I whispered, “we’re gonna get through this, we have to.” The tears bounded forth as I broke into uncontrollable sobs.

Joey…I could hear his muffled screams, but I couldn’t move. Joey, I called out to him. Hold on, baby, I’m coming. I just have to…ugh…what’s on me? Get the fuck off, let me go! I screamed. I could feel the hands holding me back, pulling me down and pinning me beneath the earth’s surface. Was I dead? Dying? No! Let me go, Joey needs me. Joey!

I woke with a jolt, wiping the drool from my face as I was met with the sight of Joey still lying in the same position as he’d been when I’d apparently dozed off.Fuck. Great, now I’m having nightmares.My back was killing me, my shoulder was throbbing, and I knew that wouldn’t be the last time I’d fall asleep in that position. Stretching, I took the time to check out the massive amount of equipment they had monitoring him finding it to be extremely overwhelming and depressing as fuck.

I stopped, staring down at what was to be my makeshift bed for the foreseeable future and got comfortable, as best I could and curled up with the paper thin blanket they’d provided me with. Staring ahead at the closed eyes I’d give anything to see open once again, I dozed back off.

When I woke the next morning, it was to Dr. Stone’s voice as he addressed the nurse beside him.

“Good morning, Mr. Branson. Did you enjoy the comfortable hospital accommodations?” He half smiled at me over his readers.

“Ugh, that’s a bigger compliment than it deserves,” I grumbled.

“Keep the pentobarbital drip the same,” he told the nurse.

“Any change?” I asked, hopeful.

“I’m sorry, but no. If the swelling was showing signs of decrease, we could reduce the pentobarbital, but without that we need to keep things as is. At least for a few more days. On the bright side, there is brain wave activity which means he’s not brain dead. But the longer the swelling persists, the harder it is for the brain tissue to heal.” He signed off on the chart, returning it to its holder.

Joe walked in, handing me a cup of coffee and a bag with something that smelled wonderful inside. Dr. Stone filled him in on our conversation while I took care of business. When I came out of the restroom, the doc had left the room.

“Thanks for the caffeine,” I told Joe, “and food,” in-between bites.

“No problem, I figured you could use a boost. You guys are still pulling a decent crowd outside. The boys were out there talking to them and signing shit,” he told me.

“I’m glad they’re doing it, I seriously can’t handle that right now. The press conference yesterday really did me in. I don’t know what to tell them let alone how I’m supposed to feel. I’m just…numb.” I trailed off, zoning in on Joey’s face.

“You guys heading out tonight for the funeral?”

“Yeah, I think so. I had a text from Derek, but hadn’t replied yet. I hate the idea of leaving Joey.”

“I know, but I’m not going anywhere and it’s important you show your respect for Rob. Plus, you’ll be back tomorrow night.”

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