Page 98 of Can't Text This

Python:Still you. Your title is safe.

Me:You’re so mean.

Python:But you like it when I’m mean.

Me:Are you working tonight?

Python:There she goes again…

Me:UGH

Python:Yes, I’m working the late shift. Sorry.

Me:Darn. I was wanting that magic daddy wiener.

Python:God. I wanna kiss you so fucking bad right now that I hate myself for it because you saying wiener is absolutely goddamn ridiculous and I hate that I love it.

Me:I just want to kiss you because I like kissing you.

Python:I’m screenshotting that.

Sixteen

Monty

Me:I’m at a bar.

Python:Looking for your next victim already?

Me:Yes. You’re boring and a terrible lay.

Python:That’s it, I’m spanking you tonight.

Me:I’M KIDDING.

Me:You are, however, the best I’ve ever had.

Python:Don’t you threaten me with winning by default because it still counts.

Python:Why are you at a bar?

Me:Well, it’s more like I’m sitting at the bar of a restaurant. Still counts, right?

Python:You are so badass with your day drinking.

Me:Oh, hush. I’m having an iced tea and you know it. I’m out with my coworkers. We’re doing our weekly luncheon before I start work next week and before parent-teacher meetings tonight.

Python:Are you nervous?

Me:Completely. It’s my first big-girl job.

Python:You’re going to do great.

Me:Or the kids are going to hate me.

Python:They won’t. Promise. Might have a crush on you, but they won’t hate you.

Me:How do you get the kids at the center to adore you?

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