Page 123 of Catch You

“I’m so sorry,” she says again.

“Harlow, I’m … I’m terrified. I can’t go through that again. I can’t lose …”

“Shh,” she soothes, still holding my face. “That was a terrible, terrible accident. The chances of it?—”

“I can’t lose you, Harlow.” I drop my hand to her smooth belly. “I can’t lose either of you.”

A sob rips up Harlow’s throat before she falls onto my chest and cries.

Rubbing my hands up and down her back, I sit in silence, my own thoughts running rampant around my head as she gets herself together.

“I didn’t think you wanted us,” she admits into the crook of my neck.

“I’m so fucking sorry. This was my issue; it had nothing to do with you. I want you more than anything.”

We sit locked in our embrace for the longest time, just soaking up strength from each other and making silent promises that we’re both too scared to say out loud.

“Harlow?” I whisper after long minutes.

She pulls her head from my shoulder and looks at me through tear-filled eyes. The emotion staring back at me guts me to my core.

“I … fuck.”

“It’s okay,” she says, lifting her palm to rest on my cheek. “I know. I’m scared too.”

“When did you find out?”

“The day after my aunt died. I was sick, couldn’t stand the smell of coffee. Brooke made me take a test.”

“So when do you think we …”

“That first night.”

I can’t help but laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

“I already thought that night was life changing. Apparently, I was right.”

“You’re a nightmare,” she jokes, slapping my chest lightly before she falls silent.

“What’s wrong?”

She’s off my lap before I have a chance to stop her. I miss her contact immediately as she begins pacing back and forth in front of me.

“Before you, I hadn’t been with anyone for … years.”

“Harlow, I’m not suggesting it isn’t mine or anything,” I say, sitting forward, wondering where she’s going with this.

“Oh, I know. I just … I need to explain why, and why going with you that night was so huge for me.”

“Okay,” I say, sitting back and continuing to watch her move back and forth.

“I was a nightmare teenager. From about the age of twelve, I was smoking and drinking. Anything to make me forget my life.

“I’d had the most perfect childhood. My parents were incredible and gave me everything I could have wanted. And then it was all gone. Ripped out from under my feet in the blink of an eye, and suddenly I had no one.

“No one cared. No one wanted me.” Her voice cracks, and all I want to do is pull her back into my arms.

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