Page 124 of Catch You

“I used alcohol, drugs, and … sex to make myself feel better. I was a mess, and I hate looking back to that time in my life. I’m ashamed.”

Pushing from the sofa, I stand in front of her to stop her from pacing.

“Hey,” I say, reaching out and taking her cheeks in my hands. I clear the fresh tears away with my thumbs before kissing the tip of her nose. “If you’re telling me this because you think it’sgoing to turn me off, then you need to think again. Nothing could do that. I want you, Harlow. Just the way you are, with your kind heart, supportive nature, and fucked-up past.”

A smile curls at her lips. “Yeah?”

“Baby, we’ve all done things we regret. You were just a child, unable to handle the life you’d been dealt. No one could criticise you for that.”

“But the things I did …” Her lip curls in disgust.

“It doesn’t matter. You can give me all the details one day if it makes you feel better. But seriously, you’re the one I want. Dark past and all.”

“Really?” she breathes, as if she can’t believe it.

“What do I need to do to make you believe I’m serious? Get down on one?—”

“No, no,” she says with wide, panic-filled eyes as she reaches out to grasp my upper arm in case I’m going to do as I just threatened.

“It’s okay, it was a joke. Although I’m glad to know how you feel about that.”

“Everything is just too much right now.” She drops her hand to her belly, just one bit of evidence for how her life is at the moment.

“I know, baby. It will get better, I promise. And one day, I will ask you that question.”

She bites into her bottom lip as she thinks and fights a small smile. She isn’t as opposed to the idea as she previously made out.

“How about for now, we clean up and head back down?” I wipe at the stray makeup under her eyes. I hate to suggest it; what I really want to do is the exact opposite and dirty her up a little more. But I know how much this event means to her. I remember the sparkle she got in her eyes when she started telling me about it on the beach that night.

“Sounds good. I hope people are enjoying themselves.”

“I have no doubt. It looked incredible.”

“I just want to make a difference, you know?”

Wrapping my arms around her waist, I walk us toward the bathroom. “You do, Harlow. Every single day.”

30

HARLOW

I’m not convinced I’m emotionally stable enough after all those confessions as we walk into the grand hall, hand in hand.

“See, everyone is having a great time,” Corey whispers in my ear as I take in the guests, all laughing and joking around their tables as they wait for their dinner to be served. “So, show me everything.”

“Okay, well, there’s not all that much to see.”

I take the lead and weave through the tables and guests. A few say hello, but thankfully no one stops me to chat. I did the best job I could with the little equipment I had to fix my face, but I’m sure it’s still obvious that I had a breakdown not so long ago. I considered calling Brooke up to help, but the thought of having to explain it all over again put me off.

My heart is still breaking for the man standing behind me, for everything he’s had to endure. Losing a child is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone, and in those circumstances … I shudder at the thought. No wonder he freaked out, and I’ve no doubt that at some point in the future he’ll do it again. You just can’t experience that kind of loss and trauma and expect everything to be fine when memories of the past start popping up, and I’m sure my pregnancy and our baby will do justthat. No matter how much he wants us, it’s always going to be a reminder of what could have been with his daughter.

“And here are the auction lots,” I announce as we walk into the connecting room.

I watch him as he looks at everything we have to offer.

“Harlow?” he asks, pulling me back into his chest and wrapping an arm around my waist. I sigh at the contact.

“Yeah,” I breathe. As much as I want to be here right now to see everything I’ve worked so hard on, I can’t help craving to be back in that suite upstairs with him.

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