Page 77 of The Riley Effect

A pretty redhead, who looks like she’s a student at Westvale, comes and takes our orders. I’m grateful that she seems to be interested in Byron because I don’t need another reminder of how badly I hurt Ivy. After she takes our orders Byron breaks the silence.

“Look, Jay, I need you to be honest with me. Are you okay?”

“How did I practice today?” I ask because I know I played well. If I’m going to be playing professional hockey, I know life is going to happen, and like any other profession, I need to be able to separate work from what’s happening in my personal life.

“I know I can trust you on the ice. I’m not worried about how you’ll play. You just haven’t been yourself this week.”

The concern he has for me is portrayed in his eyes. Byron has always made sure that we talk through what’s going on in our lives. He wants to make sure that his friends know they can rely on him. I’ve never been more thankful for that than I am right now.

“I have never felt like this before. I feel helpless, like I might not be able to fix this.”

“I know you are used to being in control, but she’ll come back to you when she is ready.”

“This is the first time I’ve been heartbroken, and why? Because I was just a drunk idiot who couldn’t keep his mouth shut and lost the love of his life.”

“I know it feels that way now, Jay, but Ivy said that she’ll talk when she’s ready. You have to remember this is her lastshot to leave it all out there with her teammates, too. She kept to herself before this year because she wanted to make sure that her priorities were on school, her family and the team. If you love her, give her the space she is asking for. We don’t all get the chance to play at the next level. Let her enjoy the game one last time.”

A low masculine laugh escapes from Byron. We are two men from New York City, and neither of us has dated seriously since we got to Westvale, and now here we are, trying to keep my broken heart at bay.

I know that he’s right, and I hate that he’s right. If I smother Ivy and push her to come to talk to me before she is ready, she will just be anxious, and the conversation will just end with her asking for more time to get her thoughts together. I’ll give her that time because I love her. I’d rather give her all of the time she needs now and be hopeful that we find a way through this and end our last year at Westvale together.

After we finish our therapy session, the waitress comes back to ask if we need anything, and when Byron and I both tell her no, we are all set. She moves on to go to her next table. Byron stops mid-bite.

“Can you believe we are eating lunch and discussing your love life?” I let him finish chewing.

“No, I’d honestly never thought I’d be this sad sap talking to his best friend about the girl that got away.”

For the first time in the last three days, I let out a genuine laugh. I’m so damn lucky to have these people in my life, and I’m never going to let them go. If this thing with Ivy has taught meanything, it’s to appreciate the time people give you to be a part of their lives because they don’t have to give you any time at all.

The universe is playing some cruel jokes on me today because, for some reason, I’m the only one who’s able to be home when Lola comes to pick up Mia. After lunch, Byron had to run some last-minute errands before the bus leaves. And since he never came home last night, I’m now I’m scrambling to get her stuff together.

I’m placing the last scoop of Mia’s food into a container when I hear a knock at the door. The sound startles Mia, and before I can pick her up, she’s zooming around the living room. I start chasing her because I want to get her in her travel bag so I can get her out the door before I have to have any real kind of conversation with Lola.

“Come in!” I yell toward the door as I lunge for the dog. It’s taking too long to grab her, and I don’t want Lola standing in the cold.

Mia barely slips through my hands, but I don’t let it deter me because I’d rather cut off my left hand than talk about how I fucked up again.

I finally get her trapped in a corner, and when I lunge to pick her up, she fakes left, darting between my legs right into Lola’s arms, like they are old friends reuniting after years apart. I find that odd because I can’t remember her ever being here, but if it gets Mia out the door, then…. WELCOME LOLA.

“Hey, what’s…. uhhh going on here?” She asks me. She looks like she’s upside down, standing on the ceiling, as I look at her between my legs.

I right myself and pick a couple of toys to throw into Mia’s bag. Once her favorite ball and chew toy are settled, I go down the mental checklist to make sure that Mia will have everything for the—hopefully— four weeks we’ll be gone at this tournament.

I shove Mia’s travel bag into Lola’s arms, knowing that Mia has everything she needs. Wanting to give her adequate time to get used to her temporary home, I rush out my next words. “Here is the list that Byron left for you.”

For the first time since she looked like she was standing on the ceiling, I’m forced to look at Lola in her eyes.

Looking at her, I don’t see the hate and disappointment I’ve seen from our friends over the last few days. I see someone wanting to make sure I’m okay even though I know I don’t deserve it.

“How are you doing, Jalen?” She asks sincerely.

“I’m okay. Just wondering why the fuck I was so stupid.”

“Ivy will come around,” She assures me.

“I don’t know if she will. She’s not answering any of my calls or texts.”

“Just give her time. She needs to focus on basketball. It’s what she’s dedicated her whole life to,” She looks me in my eyes. “She’s lost so many people that she has loved in her life, and I think the night of the formal, she thought she lost you too.” She throws Mia’s duffel bag over her shoulder and takes a deep breath.

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