Page 76 of The Riley Effect

“Hi, Jalen.”

“I’m so happy to hear your voice. Marcus told me you girls made it home okay last night, but it makes me feel so much better to hear it for myself.”

I take a deep breath because I know what I’m about to say is going to be a part of one of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had.

“I got your voicemail, and I really appreciated it.”

“I meant every word. I’m so sorry.”

I can hear him trying to choke back the tears.

“I know you did. I’ve been doing some thinking, and I think we should just put this on pause until we get back from our tournaments. I really just want to focus on my last games with my teammates. I don’t get any more games after this, you know?”

I can hear that the dams have broken, and the sound of Jalen crying hurts my heart.

“This isn’t what I want, but it’s for the best. I need to put my team first.”

“I’ll wait for you Ivy. I’m your biggest cheerleader.”

“I know you are,” I take a deep breath.

“Good luck, Jalen, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I hang up, knowing that I can’t stay on the phone any longer if I want to do what’s best for me.

36

Jalen

The last three days have been a whirlwind in the most soul-crushing way. The lead-up to the postseason is a time when I thrive. knowing that we have a shot at that title creates a one-track mind where hockey is the only thing that I care about. These last three days, I’ve only been able to think about Ivy.

I wish I could blame it on the alcohol–and a small part of it might have been–but I was insecure. I felt like I had done everything in my power to make Ivy feel wanted. I gave her time to grow into the relationship even though I would have told her I loved her when my Mom asked her to spend Christmas with us.

I went to a person I knew Ivy didn’t trust for advice just because she made me feel seen. And that is what Evelyn wanted. She wanted to torch my relationship with Ivy. Why… because she thought that it would bring me back to her. I was honest with her, and she knows I never saw her as more than what we were. But she won because I was the idiot who fell for her tricks, and now I’m not sure if I’ll ever have the only girl I’ve ever loved back in my arms.

I move through the motions of a travel day, hoping to get to game day so I can go out and just hit some people. I go through my bag, making sure that I have everything I’ll need for the four-week tournament. I’m putting my last roll of tape in my bag when a firm hand lands on my shoulder.

“Hey, Jay,” I can hear the worried tone in my childhood best friend’s voice.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“I was hoping we could stop to get something to eat at that new cafe in town before we have to get on the bus to the airport.”

I knew this conversation was coming. Byron was only going to let me mope around for so long before he demanded answers about what happened on Saturday at the party.

“Just let me throw my bag on the bus, and I’ll meet you at my car.”

When Byron leaves the locker room, I take a moment alone to attend my one-man pity party because I know that this is the last moment I have to be selfish. My team is going to need their captain if we want to end this season as champions.

On the drive to lunch, Byron tries to keep the conversation normal. He asks me a question about a PlayStation game we got last week, acting like I haven’t been one pathetic asshole these last few days.

On the other hand, I am acting like that pathetic asshole answering only in mhmms and words that possess a single syllable.

Byron tells the hostess we are under a little bit of a time constraint, and she is able to bring us to a table right away and assures us a waitress will be over any second.

I enjoy the silence Byron gives me as we look over the menu.

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