Page 66 of Secondhand Smoke
“Just friends?”
Nell felt her ears sting and cleared her throat, smiling to cover up his insinuation. “Yeah, just friends.”
Nell was pardoned from any further conversation when the front door mercifully opened. The walls really must be thicker than she realized because she never heard the van pull up.
Barrett’s surprised face looking between them was a relief.
“Ron.” Barrett’s eyes briefly flickered to Nell, then back to his uncle. “I thought you were working tonight.”
“I decided to take that break you’ve been on my ass about.” Ron stood up with his mug. “I think I’ll head down to The Pour House for a drink.”
He walked toward the kitchen. Before he made it, he stopped briefly in front of Barrett. Nell watched their quiet interaction with intense curiosity as it seemed they were having some private conversation with just their eyes. She couldn’t see Ron’s face, but she could see Barrett’s expression—urgent wide eyes, and a jerk of his chin to tell Ron to move on.
It all felt very private, like they were sharing a secret, but it was over as quickly as it started, and Ron remained in the house long enough to set down his coffee mug on the kitchen counter, pull on his shoes, and give Barrett one final, indiscernible look before heading out the door.
Aside from the football game, the house went back to quiet ,and Barrett caught her eyes.
She slumped in relief. “I don’t think he likes me much,” Nell said.
Barrett laughed—a forced sound—and threw his keys on the counter. “He’s probably just wondering why the hell someone like you is hanging out with someone like me.”
Her face stung, and she averted her eyes to the football game that was still playing. When he said things like that to her, it was just a reminder of his confession the other night.
She’d spent an embarrassingly long time staring at her ceiling and thinking about his crush from back when she was shining, when it was easier to smile. He never really worried about people not liking her.
A boy having a crush on her was nothing new in high school, even for boys like Barrett who had never been in her realm of possibilities. But now, when she was dark and gloomy and a general shadow of what she used to be, it had to be a staggering—and less appealing—contrast in comparison.
He, on the other hand, probably hadn’t changed much. She was simply finally noticing and wishing she had seen before how surprisingly handsome and sweet he was.
Admittedly, they never stood a chance then. What little she did know of him was shrouded in deep-rooted religious warnings from her father.
Satanic. Dangerous.
On further inspection—and crushing—she hadn’t seen one sign of satanic worship or rituals. If Barrett or his friends werea murderous cult, they’d had plenty of chances to use it against her.
He was just a normal guy who loved his music and needed to get by.
And Nell was totally staring at him like a creep as he said something and walked into his bedroom to grab his guitar. She felt another flush creep up her neck and was glad he wasn’t around to see it.
It was her first crush since KC and, from where she stood, almost as helpless.
It was ironic to have her current crush teaching her guitar so she could play her first love’s song, while neither of them knew how she felt.
She sighed and rubbed her hands over her face as Barrett came in with Sandra. Nell felt KC’s song heavy in her pocket. She picked up her water and chugged down the last of it to soothe her dry throat.
She could use a good blunt.
Or a drink.
Or both.
26 - Barrett
After walking Nell home, Barrett kicked off his shoes as he walked back into the house, pretending he wasn’t aware that Ron sat on the couch, eyeing him.
Their practice had gone smoothly, despite what had happened the night before.
She didn’t mention anything about what he’d said, which was . . . good. He guessed.
