Page 143 of Secondhand Smoke
“Natural color? Complexion? What the hell? Are you a fucking hair stylist now?” Dennis shook his head and grimaced.
Toni shrugged, unbothered. “It’s just a compliment.”
“Well, thank you. Cut it myself.”
The others’ confusion at Toni turned into nods of approval.
Oh, she’d missed this.
There were certain things from back then that were difficult to think about, buttheynever were. They were the only things that helped her last as long as she did.
She was going to keep missing them.
Her gaze caught on Barrett, who had been mostly silent, just observing from the side lines with a soft smile on his lips.
He met her eyes again, and Nell’s chest pinched with the longing of a familiar nostalgia.
“I’m so proud of you,” she said.
None of them said anything for a moment, until Dennis.
“I’m thirsty. You guys thirsty? Good. Let’s go get something to drink.” He grabbed the other two by the arm, pulling them away from the dressing room. Toni nodded, making some comment about being parched.
“What are you guys talking about? We have water over there,” Paulie said, pointing at a row of unopened water bottles on the dressing vanity.
“Take the hint, man,” Toni whispered as he shut the door behind them.
Nell chuckled, then found Barrett watching her with a strange look in his eye.
“You have terrible timing, you know,” he said. “I’m about to leave for nine months.”
“I know.” She smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry it took so long.”
He chuckled. “I’m glad you’re here at all.”
Nell fidgeted. God, why was she so nervous around him? He wasn’t some cute stranger she had a crush on. He was Barrett. Her Barrett. “You know, I drove here.”
“By yourself?” He raised an eyebrow.
“All by myself.”
He stepped forward, brushing his fingers against hers. Her breath caught in her throat.
“I knew you could.”
Nell looked down, blinking rapidly as her eyes began to sting. She took a deep, steadying breath. “I really came here because I wanted to apologize, and to thank you. I know last time we saw each other was . . . messy. I was messy. A total disaster, actually, and I don’t think I would have ever been able to see it if it wasn’t for you. I’m sorry I put you in that position and hurt you. So, thank you for calling me on my bullshit and doing what needed to be done, but also for being there and loving me. Thank you for the guitar and thank you . . .” She cleared her throat and finally looked up. His eyes were as misty as hers. “Thank you for the song. I regretted for a long time that I wouldn’t ever hear you play it. So, thank you for everything, Barrett. I mean it when I say you meant the world to me. You still do.”
Barrett looked up at the ceiling, his lips pulled between his teeth, hiding a smile. “Goddammit.”
Nell furrowed her brows. “What?”
He looked down and placed both his hands on her shoulders, lowering himself to eye level. “I have to go almost a year knowing you said that before I can see you again. Terrible. Timing.”
Nell relaxed and shrugged sheepishly. “Again, I’m sorry. But you’ll be fine.”
Barrett groaned then pulled Nell into another hug, holding her tight. “I guess I’ve done this well so far.”
“Exactly.”
