Page 105 of Secondhand Smoke
They took one look, and their eyes lit up. Toni’s mouth rounded into a giddy circle, and Dennis coughed a laugh into a fist.
“Say anything, and I’ll take your sticks and shove them up your ass,” Barrett snapped. “And I swear to god, you better not sayanythingonce she gets here.”
“Come on, Barrett. A little faith, please,” Dennis said, but he still grinned behind his hand.
“Yeah right.” Barrett rushed the blankets and pillows inside, smacking their hands when they tried to help him carry them in. He shoved everything into Toni’s bedroom to take care of when they got back.
He threatened them a few more times as they loaded in all the instruments—ones that he would leave behind if they pulled anything. They all knew he was bluffing, of course. He couldn’t do shit because he needed them as much as they needed him.
But he hoped they could hold it together for Nell. This trip would be difficult for her, and he didn’t want her to be embarrassed on top of it all.
She pulled up to Toni’s house a few minutes before they left. She waved and walked her bicycle into the garage for safekeeping. On her back was a pink backpack, probably packed with the weekend clothes Barrett had instructed her to bring.
Her hands rubbed up and down her arms like she had a chill, despite her wearing what looked like three different jackets layered over one another. Her teeth played with her lip as everyone double-checked everything.
He could see the nerves radiating in the air around her. She looked over the van, and Barrett watched her examine it the way she always did before she climbed in.
The last thing he wanted was for her to think she had to handle it alone. He stepped up as she opened the passenger side door and stared at the seat.
Arms brushing, he slid his under hers and intertwined their fingers together so he could hold her hand. It trembled slightly, undetectable if he wasn’t touching her. When their eyes connected, a red blossomed spread over her cheeks, and she bit her lips this time to hide a smile.
He could feel the guys’ eyes on them, but by some mercy, they said nothing.
They all piled in, Barrett and Nell in front and the other three sitting on cushions in the back.
“We good?”
Everyone gave a thumbs-up and yelp of agreement.
“I have a feeling”—Toni stuck his head in between Nell’s and Barrett’s seats and looked over at her—“that we’re gonna be very lucky this weekend.”
Nell huffed a soft laugh, and with that, Barrett put the van in reverse.
* * *
“Are you seriously staying with us?” Dennis asked, throwing his bag on one of the two motel beds and pulling out his concert attire for their gig that night. “Doesn’t Duncan have room in her bed?”
“I’m not just going to invite myself into her room,” Barrett said, drying his hair with one of the white bath towels. He’d shelled out a few extra bucks to get an extra room for Nell. No way was he making her stay in the same room as all of them.
“Is she alright, by the way?” Toni asked, lighting a cigarette and leaning back against the room window. His eyes were ringed thick with black, and his hair was spiked and sprayed a too-yellow shade of white. He fiddled with a set of fake vampire teeth. He was dressed up as David fromThe Lost Boysthis year. “She barely said anything on the way here.”
So they’d noticed it too. Nell had smiled and talked a bit as they first left, but the moment they left Gemsburg she went quiet. She never looked out the window. She just stared at her feet, but occasionally, Barrett would look over and she would stare at him with an unreadable expression.
He held her hand the entire time. Admittedly, he’d lost feeling in his fingers multiple times, but if she needed it, he would let her break his fingers.
When they arrived, he walked her to her room and told her to rest for a few hours before they needed to go to bar. She nodded,kissed him, and then went into her room. He hadn’t heard from her since.
“She doesn’t love cars.” Barrett kept it vague. He’d never talked about it with them, but there wasn’t much to say that they couldn’t grasp for themselves. After so long of her skirting around anything that required her being in a car, anyone could put two and two together.
“What? Why not?” Paulie asked.
They all turned. He was in the middle of slicking back his hair to look like James Dean.
“Seriously, dude?” Dennis said, wearing his normal clothes, like Barrett. “Do you not read the news?”
“I mean, yeah.” Paulie wasn’t convincing anyone with that tone.
Barrett dropped his towel on the back of the desk chair. “I’m gonna go check on her.”
