Page 102 of Secondhand Smoke
Nell sat up and turned toward Barrett. “You’re giving me too much credit.”
“No. I watched you until the day I graduated. I could name a million other things that I saw. You were kind. The kindest person I’d ever seen. A kind of kind that was rare, unheard of.”
Nell sucked in a breath.
It was so good to hear yet so, so painful.
What if that was who Barrett expected her to be? The girl who picked up trash for the janitors and hung up posters for outcasts. What if he was setting her up for failure?
“Scott, I’m not that person anymore.” She said it so quietly and secretly wished he couldn’t hear it. It would be so nice if he continued to think that forever and ever. But if she couldn’t even think it, how long until he saw through too?
He grabbed her hands in his, his dark eyes sparkling with passion. “Yes. You are. You are thoughtful, talented, and extraordinary. You are. That’s why you hurt and blame yourself so much. Nell, you areeverything.” He pulled her arms, and she gasped as she was pulled onto his lap. One arm wrapped around her waist, while the other came to her cheek and angled her face parallel to his. His eyes scoured her features like he was memorizing every line and crevice. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”
Nell blinked rapidly as tears filled the corners of her eyes. He caught her eyes, and she was ready to surrender her every thought and feeling to him.
“I love you,” she whispered.
Barrett inhaled raggedly.
He captured her lips with full force. No pecks, no gentle brushes. He kissed like tonight was their last night alive and she was the last breath he would breathe.
He pulled away briefly, brushing fingers through her hair and smiling like he’d inhaled every happy thought he had.
He murmured the sort of words girls dreamed of hearing. “You’re only four years behind.”
Nell lifted her hands from his shoulders and sank them into his waves, crashing their mouths together.
They burned like flame on flame.
It sparked and roared, and the more she blew air into it, the more fevered it became.
Barrett’s hands searched her like they didn’t know where they wanted to be more: her cheek, her nape, down her neck, over her shoulder, around her back, and down her spine.
They roamed, exploring with a needy confidence that made her hiss and gasp as they reached her hips and squeezed a handful of whatever he could get.
After his hands had found their place, his mouth became greedy. It broke away from her, leaving her whimpering with loss, only to reattach right below her jaw.
She closed her eyes once again and basked in the reverent flick of his tongue on her skin, tilting her head back to give him a wider canvas. He accepted the invitation and moved deeper, one hand kneading her behind, while the other locked onto the neck of her shirt and pulled it down to give his mouth more space.
Nell paused, her body stilling.
Barrett froze and pulled away. The empty space left behind was cold.
His eyes were dark and his voice breathless. “Do you want to stop?”
Nell studied his eyes.
She knew where this was going.
Her entire life she’d been warned against this, told the dangers and risks. How many men only wanted to take advantage of her. She’d even once made a vow of abstinence and at the time swore she would wait until she was happily married to a strong Christian man.
But at the time, she hadn’t realized how it felt to be this close to someone she was in love with. How safe she’d feel in Barrett’sarms. How he’d look at her like she was the most precious thing in the world.
She trusted him. She’d already given him all of her heart.
Nell took a deep breath.
Did she want to stop?
