Neither of them moved.
“I brought you guys some pie.”
She loved her mother, butgod,did she hate her right now.
Becca, somehow, was the first to recover. Her hands came up to her head and flattened against the frizz and tangles Derek’s hands had inevitably left behind. Her movement seemed to snap him out of a trance, and he followed suit, both of them trying to straighten their clothes and feign normalcy.
Becca walked to the door and shifted the collar of her shirt upward just in time to cover the spot on her neck that still sent chills down her back.
Her mother stood outside with a plate of two pieces of pie.
Becca must have taken too long to respond, because her mother raised a brow and looked her over. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” Becca’s voice came out rasped, and she coughed to clear it. “Yeah, we’re fine. Just chatting.”
“Well, I brought pecan for you, and cherry for you, Derek.” She handed the plates to Becca, who turned and set them on her desk.
“Thanks, Amanda,” he said.
Becca glanced behind her.
Goddammit.
He was much better at this stuff than she was. He sat on her bed, leaning back with such believable nonchalance that even she wondered for a second if she had imagined everything that had just happened.
“Of course.” Her mother smiled at Derek, then raised a brow at Becca, lowering her voice slightly. “Derek’s room is available if he needs to use it tonight.”
Becca flushed. There was no way she could handle Derek sleeping down the hallway from her tonight—so, so close. Not in this state.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“I’m going to head to bed. You kids let me know if you need anything.” She leaned forward and planted a kiss on Becca’s head before turning and disappearing into her own room.
The door shut quietly, and Becca stayed put, with her hand on the knob, afraid to turn back around and see Derek sitting there.
The moment was over. She was well aware of that. She wanted to grasp hold of it, and keep it forever, but it was gone. She was afraid that, if she looked back around, everything would have disappeared, including him.
She closed her eyes. “What now?”
There was a rustle from behind her, the sound of the sheets moving and the weight on the mattress lifting. She could feel him getting closer, like there was an invisible string between them, and the tension relaxed the closer he got. She didn’t expect the gentle touch on her arm that urged her to turn around.
She couldn’t resist Derek, even if she tried. Her eyes moved up, meeting his. They stood like they had before, him towering over her. She bit her lip. His eyes tracked the movement, then flicked back to hold her gaze. She inhaled.
“I’m not mad anymore. Not at you. So please, come back to me,” he said.
It was so straightforward. He made it sound so easy.
And itwasso easy. So easy to get lost in those blue eyes, to love the way his gaze looked over her. It was so easy to love him.
Her lips turned upward and she nodded. His eyes softened.
“Okay,” she said.
It was impossible to wish things could return to how they were before. It was impossible to imagine everything would right itself. But, maybe now, it would be easier to bear it as the world tilted on its axis.
38
December 1985