She chuckled and gave him a look of disbelief. “You liar.”
“It’s true.”
“There is no way that you don’t know how to act. You’ve been with, like, a hundred girls before.” She swallowed the pinch of discomfort in her chest as she said it.
“I don’t think you quite understand.” He slowed the car down as they approached a red stop light. It was too perfect of timing, because it gave him the chance to take his eyes completely off the road and focus on her, leaning in slightly to lower his voice like they were in the dark. “I don’t hold their hands, I don’t agonize over them for months, and I don’t lo—” He stopped, his eyes widening like he’d caught himself about to do something really bad.
Neither of them moved as Becca’s breath deepened. Then the light turned green again, and he pulled away to focus back onto the road.
“My point is that this isnothinglike those. Not by a long shot.” He finished.
Becca’s teeth picked at her lip and worried the skin to death. Whatever he was about to say, she had a feeling she would love it as much as she loved him.
But she didn’t need to hear the rest to be assured. She trusted Derek. She knew him better than anyone. She believed every word that came out of his mouth—not just because she wanted it to be true.
Her fingers tightened around his, and she relaxed into the seat, smiling softly as he continued to drive.
They got to the post office half an hour before closing time, and she gave him brief instructions to stay in the car while she ran in.
After getting a bit of help from the representative to pick out an envelope for each of her applications and papers, she managed to get them all packed and ready to go in about ten minutes and paid for in fifteen. She was back out of the building right after.
She practically skipped back to the car and climbed into the passenger seat.
When she glanced at Derek, he wasn’t looking at her. His attention was caught on something else outside the window. She followed his gaze to the man who stood right in front of the post office, staring straight back through Derek’s windshield at the two of them together in the front seat.
Mark didn’t feign any pleasantries. Not even a nod or fake smile like he usually did with Becca. He frowned at Derek through the glass.
A sickness grew in her stomach, churning and sucking away her joy.
She wasn’t the only one. She caught onto the tightening of Derek’s fingers around the steering wheel, and the tension clicking his jaw. The veins stood out in his neck.
Mark shook his head and gave a visible disapproving scoff that soured the scored lines of his face. Derek’s face grew pale. Hers had to be the same.
Mark didn’t stick around. He turned and walked away from them, heading to the black car she hadn’t noticed parked a few spots over when they first arrived.
Derek sat statue still until Mark got into his vehicle and peeled out of the parking lot. Even from where she sat, even in a different car and far away from Mark, she could feel the dark, angry energy of him lingering around them.
Derek’s shoulders slumped, and his chin fell forward to touch his chest. He sighed shakily.
She’d seen this before, seen the way that interacting with Mark sent Derek into a tumultuous spiral.
There were a million things she wanted to do to make him feel better, but she couldn’t fix everything. He didn’t want her to. Reaching across the console, she gently placed her fingers on the back of Derek’s tense ones and peeled the digits off the steering wheel until they relaxed and settled against hers.
His dimmed eyes lifted. Becca did her best to hide her own fear and frustration with an easy smile.
“I need to go home,” he said. He was trying to act okay, but she could see from the tense lines in his face that he wasn’t. Try as he might, there was no hiding from her. “I wanted to go somewhere, but we’ll have to do it another time.”
Her fingers stroked his knuckles gently. “Will you be okay?”
“I’ll be fine.”
She wanted to argue and demand more information, but she let it go, and just continued to brush his hand with hers.
They held to each other that way the entire drive to her house. It wasn’t as exciting or bashful or dreamy as before, but it wasn’t nothing. She’d stay grateful for any Derek, in any form, now.
He pulled into her driveway, and Becca opened her door to leave and say goodbye. She paused, because goodbye wasn’t enough for her with him. She didn’t want to say goodbye anymore, not when she was so close to a goodbye before.
“I’ll be here,” she said, and spoke the rest with her eyes.