Page 23 of Let Me

“It ain’t dark yet,” she says, stepping out onto the porch.It’ll take me all of three minutes to get home.I’ll be fine,” she says, jogging down the steps, then skipping across the walkway to the sidewalk.As she begins walking away from me, she looks back at me and waves.I throw up a hand and then slide my hands into my pockets, watching her and making sure she gets home safely.

Stepping back into my home, I take her counsel under advisement.I get in the shower and stand there while I let my thoughts take over.While the warm water cleanses me, I remind myself of the feeling in my gut the first time I saw Autumn at the ice cream shop.It was something, I knew.It’s why I continued to my car, willing myself not to talk to her.But then she came to my car and all the willpower I had vanished.I couldn’t let her walk away without making some kind of arrangement to see her again.I shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal and told myself that it’s what I do.I meet people and invite them into my life.Not all of them – only the special ones.It was that way with Luna, Tabitha, Moriah, and all the others who frequently gather with us.As for Nico—we grew up together.He knew me before cancer altered the trajectory of my life, but the rest – they’re people who lift me up.Keep me sane.

My tribe.

Do I add Autumn to that tribe?That’s what I’m unsure of.

I get out of the shower and dry off.After thinking it through, I agreed that I should be true to the pact I made with myself – that I wouldn’t leave another innocent person suffering over my death.Therefore, I need to recalibrate my brain and stick to my conviction.

Falling in love is not an option, even if the woman takes my breath away.

Chapter 7

We’re supposed to be watching this movie, but we’re playing Uno, eating popcorn and talking about our week.Friday evenings with my bestie is therapy.Riley is going on and on about how the boys are always musty and sweaty.Do I care anything about that?Not at all.But I’m her sounding board, and she’s mine, so I’m going to sit here, drink this lukewarm bottle of Mike’s hard lemonade, and listen to her talk about these stanky kids.

“I find it appalling that kids are not required to bring gym clothes to change into for class,” she says.“Girl, I have them kids running around the track, doing jumping jacks, playing all the sports and when they’re done, so are their clothes and what little deodorant they put underneath their arms.”

“So, does that mean ifJohnnyhas you for first block, he’s musty for the rest of the day?”

“The whole freakin’ day.I actually gagged yesterday.”

“Maybe you should have them bring extra clothes, deodorant and all that.”

“I can’t.All of that has to be approved by the district.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious.If I implement anything the district didn’t put in place, I can get written up or face termination.”

“That’s insane.See, that’s why these schools can’t keep teachers now.Everybody wants to be in charge, but it’s only the teachers who are really in the trenches, paying attention to the needs of the students.So, while the district holds meetings to make themselves feel important, Johnny’s lil’ musty behind can’t multiply mixed fractions because he’s all sweaty and funky when he gets to fifth period.”

Riley laughs.“You gon’ leave Johnny alone.Now, draw four,” she says slamming a card on top of the pile.

My mouth falls open.“You don’t have red?”

“Nope.”

“You better not be lying,” I say, drawing the four cards, adding to my stash of half the deck.Either I’m not good at this game, or Riley is on expert level.

“I’m not lying,” she says, but I’m not convinced by that smirk on her face.

My phone vibrates on the table.I pick it up and look at the text that came through.

Good evening.

I recognize Judah’s number, but I have yet to program his name and number into my phone.I haven’t heard from him since we met for dinner on Wednesday.Just to toy with him, I respond:

Who is this?

I wait for a response and get:

Ouch.You have so many men texting you, you can’t keep up?

No, I was just playing wit’ you, Judah.I forgot to save your number in my phone, though.

How did you know it was me, then?

I still have our previous texts.

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