Page 215 of Primal Bonds

Fane donned his boxers and sat down beside her. Not touching her, but close enough to feel his body heat. His scent wrapped around her. Familiar…reassuring.

“I've seen a hundred turns of the sun,” he said. “Did you know that?”

She shook her head. “You don’t look much older than me. Although if you’re Evie’s dad, I guess you must be.”

He nodded. “For sixty of those years, I've been the king’s envoy. In that time I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of. But the worst was giving you to him.”

“No!” She whipped her head around. “I gave myself to him. I might as well have wrapped myself up in shiny paper and mailed myself to the ice fae court.”

“I should’ve stopped you. Way back in Reykjavik.”

“You really think you could’ve stopped me? Even my brother couldn’t, and he’s my alpha.” She looked back at the shimmering black water. “I knew what I was getting into. And I didn’t care, as long as I took Corban with me.”

“I thought it might be something like that.” He inched closer so his shoulder touched hers. “What happened, Jani? What did they do to you?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Maybe. But I think you need to tell someone. An outsider.”

She pulled her legs out of the water and wrapped her arms around her legs. Maybe he was right. The first month, she shared parts of her story with Suha and Adric, but for the past year, she hadn’t talked about it all.

“They gave me an aphrodisiac,” she told her toes, the images unspooling in her mind.

He sucked in a breath.

“These were old fada. Going feral. You know what that means?”

“Not exactly.”

“When we get old or damaged somehow, the animal takes over. You fae call us animals, but we're not. Trust me, there’s a difference.”

He touched her back. “I have never called you an animal. Even in my thoughts.”

She nodded against her legs. “The alpha was from Greece. He mixed the aphrodisiac himself from an old recipe. It was…incredibly strong. It drove me a little crazy. They slapped me. Hurt me. And I wanted it.” She sipped a breath. “I even wanted the sex.”

“It was the drug, Jani. Not you.”

“That’s what I tell myself. Sometimes I even believe it.”

He started to put an arm around her.

“Don’t.” She hunched her shoulders. “Let me finish.”

“All right.” He brought his arm back to his side.

“I begged them, Fane.” She forced the words past her lips. “Instead of fighting them, I begged them for more.”

His swallow was loud in the quiet cavern. “I’m so sorry. If I could only go back and change things for you, I would. But I can’t. All I can say is that you're strong. A warrior who should never have had to fight that kind of battle. But you survived, and I’m so grateful for that.”

Sharp glass filled her throat.

“I’m broken,” she managed to say. “I spent most of the last year as my cougar. Because it’s safer that way. Now I’m afraid to shift. Afraid the cougar will take over once and for all.”

“No. Not broken. A survivor.” He reached for her again, and this time she went into his arms.

He pulled her onto his lap and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She stared, dry-eyed, at the pool. She was so fucking tired. Most nights, she only slept in snatches.

Fane stroked her back. Slow, soothing caresses. He crooned a wordless tune in his rough, sexy voice. Gradually she relaxed.

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