Page 70 of Matched Up

‘What happened?’she whispered.

I pushed myself up and looked at her.‘What’s wrong with me, Meg?’

‘What do you mean?There’s nothing wrong with you; you’re amazing,’ she said.

I hiccupped.‘He wouldn’t tell me.And you wouldn’t tell me, and evenMumwouldn’t tell me.Why won’t anyone let me in?’I said, knowing I wasn’t making much sense.

‘He wouldn’t tell you …?’She cocked her head and pulled her knees into her chest.

‘And you, you didn’t tell me about you and Niall.Why?Because I’m such a mess that I couldn’t handle it?’And when I came out with it, I realized it was true: Icouldn’thandle it.

‘Because I felt guilty,’ she said simply.‘It wasn’t to do with you.Well, it was, because I didn’t want to hurt you and I knew how close you guys were.So it was just easier, not telling you.’Megan shrugged, her wide eyes looking like she was about to cry.‘I never meant to hurt you.’And then shewascrying.‘I miss you so much, Lex.’

‘I miss you too,’ I said.

She leaned over and hugged me and I breathed in the familiar fruity smell of her hair.

‘Maybe it’s the same with Shane?Maybe he’s keeping secrets because he’s scared?’she offered.

‘Of me?’I said, ready to cry all over again.

‘Of your reaction,’ she corrected.

‘I never even asked about the trials,’ I said, filling the silence that followed.

‘Oh my God, so boring.’Megan rolled her eyes.‘You wouldhave loved it.So many drills.But, yeah, they want me back for the next bit.’

The usual rage about Megan not caring enough about football didn’t show up in my gut like it usually did.I just felt happy for her.

‘That’s amazing,’ I said.‘Tell me you’re going to go.’

‘Maybe,’ she said with a smile.‘Niall’s just as bad as you, you know.It’s so weird, you’re practically the same person.Which kind of freaks me out.’

I shook my head.I wasn’t ready to talk about Niall.Forgiving Megan was one thing, but Niall?No way.

‘Oh, and, Lexie?Sadie phoned me yesterday.There’s going to be a scout at the game on Saturday.They were actually coming to see Shane, but they saw me play a couple of weeks ago apparently and want to watch again.’

I sniffed and wiped leftover tears from my face.‘Are you serious?’I let the thought settle.I’d barely thought about the game on Saturday.‘That’s amazing.Are you excited?’

‘Yeah.I mean, it’s pretty cool, but I’m actually kind of worried about what happens if they’re interested …’

And even though it hurt to think of Shane right then, I remembered what he’d said.That it’s only great if it’s something you want.

‘You can always say no, you know, later, if you want?’I said, and she looked at me with surprise in her eyes, like she couldn’t believe what I was saying.

‘You’re right.Thanks, Lex, but look at me, acting like I’ve already been chosen or something.Let’s talk about you.I’ve missed you so much.Will you tell me about Shane?’

And I did.From the very beginning.The night we met, Zoe’s party, the extra training, the night at my house, the funfair.

‘Shit, that’s really intense.Oh Lex, I’ve never seen you like this.But Niall was saying that Harrison had a word with him about me, that he hates when personal lives get mixed up in football.Like a warning or something, so maybe you dodged a bullet there?’

I could feel all the emotion coming back.In waves so strong they made me feel sick.But I didn’t want to cry again, so I shook Shane out of my head.

‘Megan?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Do you really think I’ll ever make the firsts?Like to start?’I was too upset to care that I’d just asked a question whose answer terrified me.

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