Page 73 of Steel

This life never stops.

Never slows.

My club requires my attention every minute of the day, and up until now, they’ve had it.

Waking up with Tempe in my bed a couple of days ago was a mistake I shouldn’t have made, and there’s no taking it back.

She’s splitting my focus, and now, every time I blink, I see her kneeling in front of me. Offering everything I can’t have if I’m going to be the kind of man my club needs.

Not that I can scrub my thoughts clean either. There’s something innocent behind the mile-high walls Tempe builds. Something soft underneath the ruthless fighter. And no matter how hard her life has been, her touch heals, and her kiss cracks me open.

I tried my best to resist her—to be patient.

I tried to stay in control, but she snaps it.

She showed affection to a man who’s better at killing people than loving them.

Maybe she just caught me at the end of a hard day. A difficult month. An impossible year.

A weak moment.

My traitor’s daughter dropped to her knees, and I stared into the eyes of the blood that tried to destroy me and my men. She blinked up at me, and I wanted to forget the war I’ve been fighting since I first slipped on my president patch at twenty-one.

I wanted the peace she was offering.

Comfort.

Something a man as strong as me was weak enough to give in to for a moment.

She parted her lips, and I felt the pause in the universe. I gave in to what I’m not allowed to want—things I never knew I did.

I don’t fuck women bare, and I certainly don’t fuck them in my actual bed.

I sure as hell don’t let them stay at my house.

She breaks every rule I’ve ever set.

Tempe might think of herself as another check mark on my mind-numbing list of conquests, but she’s so far from it that I’m not sure who I am anymore.

What we did was more than sex, and I learned at a young age the danger of wanting more than that from a relationship.

My dad gave his whole heart to my mom. He never strayed and never wanted more than she gave him. Hewanted a family, and they had it—first me, then my brother.

But life’s unpredictable whether you’re in the club or not. And when we lost Wyatt when he was only a year old, Mom never recovered. It didn’t matter that I was five and barely understood it. I felt the impact in every day that passed.

Mom rarely left her room after his funeral. She didn’t even want to see me when I tried to bring her things I thought might help.

My favorite stuffed animal, my favorite blanket, a hug.

That’s when I learned that people don’t have to be dead to become ghosts. I watched her become one right in front of us. Haunting the house with her cries. Turning the air cold.

Dad tried to hold it together, but the pieces were everywhere. Our love wasn’t enough to fix her. My love wasn’t enough to fill the holes.

I still remember that day I learned that love doesn’t last.

A breeze ran through the house when Dad and I got home because the back door had been left open. Dad walked in first, and I was right behind him. We had been at the shop, where I played with my toy cars while Dad fixed his motorcycle and talked to Helix.

I sorted the wrenches, making an obstacle course for my cars. It was like every other day.

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