Page 94 of Heart Sick Hate

It’s not odd to go a week without seeing him, but we usually text daily. Except these past forty-eight hours when I lost all sense of time and space.

Setting down my coffee, my fingertips burn from the hot liquid heating up the mug, but I pause there. Feeling it. Begging for punishment from the universe for giving in to the magnetic pull I feel towards Crew when I should know better.

“Seems Crew was busy too.”

My gaze flicks up to Dad, and I try to bury the fact that his comment catches me off guard.

“Oh?” I’m not sure it comes out genuine, but I try.

Dad nods. “Max was hoping he’d come around with Rhett getting out of the hospital, but he was tied up with other things.”

I curl my fingers in my lap and play with the hem of my T-shirt.

“Rhett’s doing fine though, right?”

“You haven’t seen him?” Dad’s brows scrunch.

“Busy, remember.” I force a smile that constricts my heart.

Dad and I grabbing coffee after church on Sunday has been a weekly ritual for years. Somewhere these past few months it’s started to fade away. My guilt over how I’m feeling and what I’m dreading bleeds out, and I’ve never been more terrified for him to sense it.

“He’s doing much better. The doctors said he’ll make a full recovery.”

“Good.”

The last thing I need is more guilt thrown on this dumpster fire.

“So how is the new church?” I grab my coffee once more and let it burn my tongue.

Sear the lies living there as I divert the subject.

“It’s beautiful. It’s too much… I don’t know.” Dad pats his hand on the table. “I’m not sure we’re ready to scale, but Rhett has a vision.”

“And you trust him?” I set my cup down. “With the church, I mean.”

Dad nods. “He’s young. He’s got the energy. So who knows, maybe he’ll be able to pull off what I couldn’tand actually make a mark in the community with Eternal Light.”

“They love you.”

“It’s not about me, Echo.” Dad leans forward, resting his weight on his elbows. “This is for them.”

Always the humble one. Dad is the opposite of Rhett. While his focus has always been on the people he serves, sometimes I worry Rhett is letting his pedestal go to his head.

“Rhett will do good things,” Dad decides. “He just has a little more growing up to do.”

Something about how Dad leans back and pauses. How his stare drifts off and the corners of his lips turn down. He loves Rhett, but he’s hesitant to hand over the one thing he cares about as much as his daughter.

“He’ll be fine. Promise.” I reach across the table and plant my hand on one of my fathers, forcing a smile.

I slip into the girl Rhett needs me to be to get us all through this transition.

“And if his ideas get a little too wild, I’ll help him tamp them down.”

I’ll be the good girlfriend. And then I’ll be the good wife.

A role I shouldn’t be able to play so well. But if my dark past taught me anything, it’s how to mold to a situation, no matter the self-sacrifice.

Dad places his other hand over mine and smiles. “You’re too good for all of us.”

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