Page 73 of Heart Sick Hate

I’m not sure what to make of the fact that he’s being caring after fucking me outside of the bar and calling me a whore. But I want that push and pull. The give and take. The hot and cold. He’s my balance.

With Crew, I’m more than a puppet on strings. I’m feeling—living. I’m me.

Crew leads me all the way to the bathroom and strips his leather jacket off my shoulders. Walking over to the shower, he turns it on, and a hot fog fills the room. He grabs the back of his T-shirt and tugs it off, pausing.

I want to read his mind. Take a walk in that tangled forest and see what he’s wrestling in there. Angry, broken. All the sides he never lets anyone see, as I’m just now learning they exist.

Reaching up, I unclasp the choker that secures my dress around my neck. And when I undo the zipper, my dress puddles to my feet. I slip out of my boots and walkto Crew like he’s my magnet, planting my hands on his back.

His breath hitches with the contact.

Electricity.

And I wonder—even if this is just for his amusement, and if he’ll discard me once he’s done—if he still feels it. Sparks that light when we touch. Circuits that fire no matter how much either of us fights it.

He can fuck me like I’m worthless, but he can’t deny whatever plays in his eyes each time they connect with mine. Secrets we try to hide and truths we’re scared to admit.

“Why are you marrying him, Echo?” Crew tips his head back, taking in a deep breath.

I rest my forehead on the center of his back, between where my hands are planted, and soak in the rise and fall of his body like waves crashing.

“Because it’s for the best.” I press my lips together and inhale through my nose. “Because I made a promise.”

One I wish I hadn’t, and even if I could, I’m a coward and can’t take it back now.

“Why do you ask?” I know better than to push for answers I won’t like, but I’m not able to help myself as steam cloaks my fears in this bathroom. “Isn’t it easier when there’s no risk I’ll want more from this?”

Crew turns around, catching my wrists when I try to pull them away, planting my hands on his chest. He pushes my chin up with his thumb and forces me to look in the broken depths of his eyes.

“None of this is fucking easy.” He grinds his jaw. “Why can’t you see that? You deserve so much more than you’re giving yourself.”

“You don’t know what I deserve.”

My soul is damned to hell.

“But I do.” He releases my wrists and reaches up to undo my hair, letting it pool over my shoulders. “You deserve to be with someone better than my righteous brother. You deserve to be with someone who will worshipyou, not God.”

“And who would that be?”

We both know it’s not him. Crew’s words might be sweet, but it doesn’t mean that’s something he can offer. Which is why he says nothing to answer my question.

“Exactly.” I shake my head. “Just admit you only care because you’re going to have to spend every family gathering for the rest of your life sitting across from me, reminiscing on how you fucked me out of boredom and revenge. And you won’t be able to do what you normally do with girls, and just escape them.”

Crew’s jaw ticks with his smirk as he rakes my hair off my face. “You’re beautiful when you’re being vicious, Goldie. But that’s not going to happen.”

“You might be a good fuck, but you’re not changing my mind.”

Now I am being mean.Vicious.

Cruel like him.

“We’ll see.” Crew releases me, reaching down and stripping off his pants.

Naked, tattooed muscle bare in front of me, and I have to clench my thighs to hold back what the sight of him does. Not a scrap of clothing on him, besides the single chain holding my purity ring around his neck.

The one piece he doesn’t seem to ever take off.

A taunt and a promise twisted together.

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