Page 7 of Heart Sick Hate
I swear the girl moves in slow motion sometimes.
Delicate, peaceful.
She’s all the things I’m not with her long, wavy red hair that lands at the center of her back. Her white dress sparkles with the sun shining through the windows. Lace hugging her soft curves and a smile that might as well be a beacon of light in the center of the city.
She’s the kind of brightness Jude needs in his life. And I’m thankful they have each other. They’ve been through hell together and not all people find peace at the end of what they experienced.
“Do I look okay?” Fel bites her lip nervously.
“Okay?” Maren practically snorts, walking over to her and brushing Fel’s hair off her shoulders before planting her hands on them. “Girl, you look drop dead gorgeous.”
“Stunning, sweetie.” I pop another piece of gum into my mouth and blow a bubble to settle my nerves.
I need to smoke a joint—anything to keep me from crawling out of my skin again. The last time that happened ended in blood. As long as I’m moving, pacing, running at full speed—I don’t have to think.
Fel breathes out a laugh. “I can’t believe this is really happening. He wants to get married right now.”
She’s still in shock from Jude’s impromptu wedding, but I’m not surprised. Jude is the grumpiest asshole at the shop—which is saying a lot since Crew also works there—but Fel brings out a side of Jude I’ve never seen.
“Of course he does. Look at you.” Maren guides Fel to a chair and starts working on her makeup. “Can’t blame the guy.”
“I guess.” Fel laughs.
Maren smiles wide, her eyes darting in my direction. “Speaking of women bringing men to their knees, you’re not going to believe what Echo just did.”
“He deserved it.” I point out.
“You don’t have to explain yourself to us.” Maren shakes her head. “Crew is a total dick, so I’ve no doubt he did.”
“What did you do?” Fel spins in her seat to face where I’m propped against the wall.
“I might have punched him in the face.”
Her eyes blow wide with shock.
“Shemighthave broken his nose.” Maren laughs. “And bymight, I mean girl definitely broke his nose.”
It sounds worse than it is. I think?
Teasing me is Crew’s favorite hobby, and even if I have thick skin, he hit a tender spot today.
So much for pretending I’m unaffected.
“What did he do?” Fel’s eyebrows pinch in curiosity.
“What didn’t he?” I ask in return, diverting her question.
They laugh and return to Fel’s hair and makeup like it’s any other day of Crew saying dumb shit at the parlor, itching to get punched in the face. They’re blind to the fact that I’m glass shattering inside.
Because no one really knows me.
While Maren and Fel talk hairstyles and wedding night sex, I walk to the en suite bathroom and smooth my hair in the mirror. Half black, half bleach blonde, straight down the middle where my part is.
While most people use their appearance to project perfection, I use mine to remind myself of the only truthI have left. Nothing is mine but my body. Nothing but the two sides waging a war inside me.
Which side will win out in the end?
My phone pings, and I look down to see Rhett’s name lighting up the screen the same way it should light me up inside.
