Page 28 of Heart Sick Hate

So I do.

I drop to my knees to prove to him I’m here for a reason.

His gaze falls, watching me, following every movement. His fingers grip his leather chair as I plant mine on the cool wood floor beneath me.

It should be degrading. But as I start to crawl, his steel eyes darken. And as his jaw tenses, I’ve never felt more in control.

Never felt more wanted.

I haven’t held onto my virginity because it’s an important keepsake. I’ve kept it because it’s mine, and someone tried to take it years ago like it wasn’t. I promised I’d do this on my terms, and that’s what’s going to happen.

My last piece of innocence, and I just offered it to a devil.

Crew is calm as he waits for me to stop between his spread legs. His chest rises and falls with every breath, and his nostrils flare as I sit back on my knees before him. An offering, and for some reason, I’m at peace.

I’m still.

I’m silent, lost in his every exhale.

He leans forward, planting his elbows on his knees, so he’s close enough for me to feel his body heat. To smell the soap from his shower and the spice from his still-wet hair.

“You don’t have to do this,” he says.

Crew’s never thoughtful. Always impulsive, but tonight, every comment flips between crude and caring. A tug of war I can’t wrap my head around.

“I want to.” It’s a choked whisper and too honest.

“Do you even know what you’re asking for?” His eyes narrow in a challenge, his fingers finding my jaw and running along it. His thumb rubs roughly over my lips. “Have you ever sucked a cock, Goldie? Has a man ever stretched these pretty lips to their limits? Made your jaw ache and your eyes water from fucking it hard and rough. Have you ever had a man beg for your mouth—for you to swallow his cum like it’s the best thing you’ve tasted?”

I shake my head.

I’ve never wanted that. Never felt the urge—or any urge for that matter. But as Crew’s thumb toys with the line of my lip, brushing against my teeth with my exhale, my core clenches and my insides flutter.

He leans in closer, so we’re nearly nose to nose.

“I get why you came to me and not to Rhett, whether you hate me or not.”

“Idohate you.”

“Okay.” He chuckles like he doesn’t believe it. “But, Goldie, you still have no idea what you’re getting into. And as much as I’d love to sink into you right now and tastethat pretty little hate fire of yours, I’m not going to be a weapon for you to later use against my brother. I’m not going to be your excuse when you’re too scared to make your own life choices. If you want me to fuck you—to take your purity—I’ll only do it if you tell me the real reason. You’re asking me becauseyou want me to.”

He leans back in his chair, arms stretched at his sides. Shoulders relaxed, but the darkest steel-gray eyes as he watches me sitting in front of him.

“I can’t.” Not because I don’t want it, but because I can’t open myself up to what might come from that admission.

Crew understands why I’m here, but he’s trying to flip this around for his own validation. He wants me to admit I want him more than his brother—either because he’s competitive or because I’m vulnerable. It doesn’t matter. It’s already too much that I’ve told him I want him to fuck me. I can’t let him think any more of it.

“Fine, I won’t fuck you then.” He tips his chin up. His squared features catch the shadows in this dark room. “Come here.”

My instincts tell me to run, but I stand instead, accepting his open palm as he pulls me onto his lap so I’m straddling him.

“What are you doing?” I grab his shoulders, hating how the skin-on-skin contact makes my insides flutter. “You just said you won’t fuck me.”

“Correct. Not until you’re ready to admit why you really came to me with this.” He rakes his teeth over his bottom lip and grabs my hips.

In one sweep, he stands up and flips us until I’m sitting in the leather chair, and he’s kneeling on the floor in front of it.

“What are you doing?” My nails dig into his shoulders.

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