Page 114 of Heart Sick Hate

“Because I could lose it all and it wouldn’t matter to me as much as you losing that light I see inside you.” He squeezes my hand. “I only went along with it as long as I did because you seemed so happy with Rhett. I honestly believed it until something changed after Christmas.”

When I punched Crew for making a comment that forced me to face every buried feeling.

“If you knew, why didn’t you say something?” As much as I’d like to believe him, he committed to this deal as much as I did.

“You can lead someone to the path, but you can’t force them to take it.” Dad pats my hand. “Besides, just because I’m an old man who hasn’t dated in years doesn’t mean I don’t understand it was a delicate situation.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” I mumble.

“You needed to find your way to what you truly wanted. And yes, if you didn’t come to me, I would have found the time to ask you if you really loved him. But now…” He smiles.

“What?”

“My daughter of little faith is finally letting her heart guide her.”

The brightness in his eyes is nearly heartbreaking. I’m not a believer. But I believe in what I feel for Crew, and Dad must see it.

“Rhett’s not going to take it well.”

“He doesn’t love you.” Dad glances at the crowd at the front of the church. “But he cares. And he’ll understand. Rhett is a man of faith, and he knows sometimes our paths are guided by other things.”

“You really think that?”

Rhett might not want this relationship any more than I do, but we’re both benefiting from our situation.

“I do.” He pulls back, a smile climbing his cheeks. “And if he doesn’t, I’ll just have to deal with it. Besides, being a man of God makes me well acquainted with the devil’s tricks.”

“You’re funny now, huh?” I nudge him in the arm, and we both laugh.

Dad shrugs. “Just lightening the mood. It’ll be okay, Echo. Talk to Rhett. He understands more than you give him credit for. Besides, he’s young like you. He’s still finding his own path as well.”

A dark current coats my father’s expression as he watches Rhett emerge once more.

“He’ll make the right choice.”

I’m not sure he has much of a choice to make when I’m the one making the decision, but I just nod.

“Tell me more about Crew.” Dad diverts his attention back to me. “He’s… interesting.”

I can’t help the laugh that bursts out of me, breaking the tension. “That’s one word for him. Crew is Crew. It’s like what you said about defining love. You can’t define him either. He beats to his own drum.”

“Well, he’s smart enough to steal my daughter’s heart, so he’s got that going for him.”

“Yeah.” I rub the empty spot on my hand once more. “You don’t know him well, but he’s good to me in his own unique way.”

Sometimes unconventional and often messy, but Crew takes care of the needs I didn’t know existed.

“He better be; you deserve real love.”

“Like you once loved Mom?”

Dad tenses at the question. We don’t broach this conversation often. And I haven’t brought it up in years.

“Yes, like I once loved her.” Dad nods. “I loved who she was before her addiction claimed her. Before I knew she took my daughter away from me.”

“I can’t imagine the person you met.” I shake my head; my memory of my mom is someone he would never have fallen in love with. “I can’t picture her as much of anything anymore.”

The woman who raised me was hollow—in her eyes, cheeks, heart.

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