Page 107 of Heart Sick Hate

I can’t help the broken laugh that breaks free. “Okay, maybe you don’t see me then.”

He shakes his head. “I’m serious.”

“So am I.” I pull back, looking at him. “Did you not hear anything I just said? How could you think I’m too good for you? I’m a broken mess with mommy issues and nightmares that still live rent-free in my head.”

“And I’m a sick fuck who gets off on hurting people.”

I bite my lower lip, wrapping my arms around the back of his neck and tilting my head to examine him. “Why is that?”

“Because if you’re the one inflicting pain then you’re not the one receiving it.” The circles he’s drawing on my back stop, and he freezes at what he said.

“Who says it’s all a fight, Crew?”

He shakes his head. “It’s dangerous to think it isn’t.”

“Why?”

His teeth clench, and I know he’s holding back. He doesn’t want to open up to me, but I don’t care. Because that’s what he made me do, and I need it in return. We’re going to rip ourselves open until we’re raw nerves, on fire with every little touch.

“You can tell me.” I rub the back of his neck. “You can trust me.”

“I know.” He tips his head back and lets out a long breath, before once more looking at me. “I grew up with money, Echo. Sickening amounts of it.”

“I’m aware.”

“The problem with having something like that is that other people will always want it. And you can have all the money in the world, but it doesn’t replace certain things. It couldn’t replace her.”

“Your mom?”

Crew nods once.

“Money was my father’s sickness. Still is. It’s all he cares about, and she paid the price for it. He let his guard down because he was getting what he wanted, and he forgot about the sacrifices you have to make when you make trades with the devil.”

“Is that what you think?” My eyebrows pinch. “That if you get something good, you’re going to have to pay for it some other way.”

“I know it.” He squeezes me tighter.

“And it scares you.”

It’s not a question, because it’s all over his face. Fear beneath the surface. Something he hides behind his facade of being a sadistic asshole.

“You want to know what scares me?” Crew rubs his hands up my back. “That I have all the money you could ever want, Echo. I could give you anything your heart desires. But it means nothing.”

“I don’t want any of it.”

“I know you don’t. And that terrifies me more. Because you’re a force that can’t be contained. And if I take my eye off the prize for one second, I’m worried I’ll lose you again.”

“Again?” My eyebrows pinch. “What are you talking about?”

“You should have been mine from the moment we met.”

“When? Eight years ago?”

He nods. “I knew something was off that night, I just didn’t know what it was. My father’s always had a soft spot for his favorite son, so I should have guessedit had to do with Rhett’s religious obsession. But instead of trying to figure it out, I did what I’m best at and ignored my family’s mess. Back then, I didn’t realize they were dragging you into all their shit. You didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s not all on them. I was always going to do what I had to for my father. I owed him. He’s the reason I got out of the hospital.”

The last word is nearly a whisper. Embarrassment, fear. It doesn’t matter if I did the right thing protecting myself from what my mother’s dealer tried to do, I don’t want Crew thinking that broken girl is all I am.

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