“If that’s what you want to call it.”
It’s as fitting as anything else considering she’s standing in front of me right now.
When I watched her blood-stained hand slip out of mine eleven years ago, I never expected to actually have her in my life again.
I stood at her mother’s funeral and watched Fel’s red hair whip around her face as I memorized every inch. I reminded myself over and over again why it was right to let her mourn and move on from them—from me. But her being here now feels like a sign of something I should have paid better attention to.
Her scream in the back of my head still vibrates at a frequency that shakes up all the shit I’ll never really forget.
And it pisses me off because she stands here acting like she hates that I’m the villain when it’s exactly what she needed.
“Do you ever wish you could have done it differently?” Her tone is softer now, her defenses slipping, so I take a step back.
It’s genuine. Pure. Slipping through the cracks in me.
“No.”
Her face falls because she wants me to tell her I’ve changed. That I regret what I did. That I shouldn’t have hurt her. She wants to think that because I’ve made something of myself now, it can take back all the evil I’ve done.
She wants to think I’m still the kid who used to lie next to her in bed while she read stories. Both of us trying to escape a reality we thought we could.
Fel’s blue eyes soften, and there’s hope I never want to see again.
Hurting her was the most selfless decision I ever made, and it’s better for her heart if she never learns that truth.
I take a step back, throwing up the same defenses that make it easier for her to hate me.
“I don’t waste time with regrets. So stop looking for the good in me, Red. You’re not going to find any.”
11
Fel
“Avoidingtheshoporjust a certain person in particular.”
I jump at the voice coming from behind me and spin around.
Sage is standing propped against the wall of the shop as he pulls out a cigarette and smirks at me. He lights it, before tucking his lighter back into his pocket, his eyes skimming over me as the cigarette dangles between his lips.
I’m not sure how I didn’t hear him walk up, but there’s no doubt he just caught me staring at Jude through the shop window.
While I’ve avoided the shop for the past few days to create some distance, inventory is running low, giving me no choice but to face this place—and him.
Echo said if I came by around two he’d be with a client, so I thought I’d be safe, slipping in and out, avoiding him. Instead, he’s sitting on the stool at the front counter with a girl propped on top of it, laughing.
And it’s not just any girl, because I’d recognize her platinum blonde hair and devious gaze anywhere.
Brea crosses one bare leg over the other, and in her short, white mini dress, every inch of her tanned thighs are on display. She leans closer to Jude and wets her lips with whatever she’s thinking, and all that’s going through my head is what Maren said about ring girls getting territorial.
Is Jude her territory?
I know as much about Jude’s dating life as he knows about mine—nothing. Not that I have one myself.
But Brea?
Something about her presence stings deep as she bats her eyelashes at him and tips her head back in a giggle. She’s comfortable, looking almost sweet as she talks to him. Even if I’ve seen her claws.
I’m not allowed to care. I have no right to feel jealous.