“I don’t want anything. You’re the one acting like we’re at war.”
“You’re the one who hates me.”
I want to hate him. Idohate him. But the more time I spend downtown at Jude’s shop, the easier it is to forget why.
When he disappeared, it was easy to make him the bad guy. He didn’t like our parents being married because it ruined whatever plans he concocted in his head. So he let his need for revenge consume him and he made us all suffer the consequence.
Back then, it was easy to explain it away because I didn’t have to face him.
But spending time around him at Twisted Roses is making things murky. The aimless teenager who got into fights at school and rebelled against our parents is now running a business. He’s built a life for himself, and even if I never would have pictured it, this place suits him.
Only, where does it leave us?
The Jude standing in front of me now is harder to hate because I’m finally seeing him in a different light.
If only I knew how to still trust him.
“I need you to understand something.” I take a step back, if for no other reason than to clear my head. “We aren’t picking up where we left off. It’s been over a decade, in case you’ve forgotten.”
“I haven’t forgotten how long it’s been.” He works his jaw. “Doesn’t matter if it’s been ten years or twenty. I’m not going to sit back and watch my stepsister make a fool of herself.”
I slam my jewelry case on the counter. “Your stepsister?”
A laugh I can’t contain rips from my throat. Jude always used that word like the safest threat in his arsenal.
“What?” He shrugs, nonchalantly. “It’s what you were.”
“Exactly,were, as in, past tense,” I point out. “As in, something we both know didn’t matter anyway. It was a threat then and it still is, but that’s all.”
He opens his mouth to argue, but I step forward and he clamps it shut again.
“Don’t try to deny it.”
Jude plants one of his hands on the counter beside us and leans closer. Giving me the full force of his squared jaw and fierce eyes. “I wasn’t.”
My heart is racing so fast that I can’t tell if I’m still breathing. “Then why say it?”
“What else do you want me to say, Fel? It’s what you were, and it’s the only word left that makes any sense of this.” His teeth grind. “You weren’t supposed to know I was still in town. You aren’t supposed to be here. But here you are, every fucking day, walking into my shop and reminding me of all the shit I don’t want to fucking think about.”
“And whose fault is that?”
“Mine.”
His admission catches me off guard. And for once, I wonder if the hate in his eyes is directed at the wrong person.
“I’m not going to apologize when everything I did was for you.”
“For me?” I laugh.
“Yes.”
There’s no pause. One word followed by silence. The air is thick and my laugh fades into it.
“Like I said back then, I did everything for you, and here you are trying to ruin your life anyway.”
“I’m building a business.”
“With barbells and lip piercings?” He drops his chin and shakes his head. “You’re running from something. What is it?”