Page 19 of Owen Gardner is Losing It

A voice. A female voice.

They sounded like they were under water.

Jake spoke again. “Okay, just stay with him so he doesn’t choke on his own vomit.”

The bathroom door closed, and for a moment, I thought I was alone until somebody gently laid a cold washcloth on the back of my neck. Assuming it was Jake, I said, “Are you actually taking care of me right now?”

“It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it, Owen Elizabeth.”

Oh, great.“It’s Frodo,” I said, sitting back against the edge of the bathtub. I wiped my mouth with the washcloth and gazed up at Beth. Towering over me with a sympathetic grin, she handed me a water bottle. “I’m sorry,” I said, accepting the water.

Beth closed the toilet lid and sat down, crossing her arms on her knees. “Why are you apologizing?”

I took a few big gulps of water. “I don’t know.”

She gave a sweet smile, and we stared at each other for a minute, listening to the chaos of the party on the other side of the door. Two mugs clinked together, and then someone yelled, “Oh, shit! Where are the paper towels?”

“Is it true?” Beth asked, diverting my attention back to her. “That you planned to lose your virginity to me tonight?”

Instead of answering with words, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the condom, holding it in my half-opened hand on the rug beside me. Beth stared at it for a few seconds before looking at my face.

“Owen.” She squeezed her eyes shut for a second.Here comes the rejection.“Listen, I think you’re a great guy, and you’re so sweet and adorable–”

“I am not adorable.”

“Um, hello, Mr. Dimples? Let’s agree to disagree.” She let out a little giggle. “Anyway, you don’t want your first time to be with me, okay? Your first time should be… special.”

I wanted to suggest it could be special with her, but it was too late for that, and I’d only sound desperate at this point.

“And despite how I might have accidentally portrayed myself tonight,” she continued, “I don’t make a habit out of having casual sex with seventeen-year-old boys. I was just bored and looking for some fun tonight. All my friends are off at college, and I just needed a distraction.”

“Well,” I said, clicking my tongue. “You’re welcome for that.”

“I’ve had a good time with you. Really.” Beth tucked her hair behind her ears. “But I think I’m going to go. Are you going to be okay now?”

Physically?“Yeah,” I said.Emotionally?That was up for debate.

Beth stood up and held out her hand to help me up. I shoved the condom back in my pocket and let Beth pull me to my feet. Her hand lingered in mine for a few seconds as she said, “You can tell your friends we had sex in here, if you want.”

I dropped her hand. “I’m not going to do that. But thanks for the offer.”

Beth smiled and reached up to pat me on the me head like I was a kid or a cute animal. “Hope the rest of your night is better. Come see in Boomer’s soon, okay?”

I just nodded, knowing I wouldn’t be showing my face there for a while.

And then she was gone.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t very disappointed. I realized in that moment I never really saw myself losing it to Beth in the first place–it was like deep down inside, I knew the night would end like this. And in some way, I was actually relieved. The pressure was off.

I stayed in the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face, and I stole a little bit of Xander’s grandparents’ mouthwash to get the bitter bile taste out of my mouth. Pulling out my phone to check the time, I sighed when I realized it was still just half past eleven. That meant it would be a while before the crowd started thinning out.

I was ready for everyone to leave so I could find a place to sleep.

There was a knock on the bathroom door. “Is someone taking a shit in there, or what? Hurry up!”

I pulled open the door and nudged past a senior guy whose name I couldn't quite recall. "All yours," I mumbled.

I had nowhere to go. My brother was dominating the beer pong game in the kitchen, and I was thankful he was too distracted to see me move through the room. I slipped out the front door where a couple was making out on the porch swing, so I couldn’t stay there.

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