Page 20 of Owen Gardner is Losing It

And I sure as hell wasn’t going around to the back of the cabin, where the others were still sitting around the fire. I could hear them back there singing along to “Live Your Life,” that Rihanna song, their loud and carefree screeching making me feel more alone.

I wanted to get as far away from them as possible.

So, I decided to go for a walk. I made my way down the gravel driveway, where the crickets and frogs were my only company. I much preferred them, anyway. For the first time all night, I felt a sense of peace.

I wandered all the way down to the very end of Xander’s grandparents’ driveway. I could see the lights from his mom and dad’s house from where I stood. I wondered if they had any clue where he was or even cared. If they found out about this party, how much trouble would he be in? What would his father do?

Despite everything that happened between us, I knew I’d have to stick around to help him clean up in the morning. I couldn’t let him face his dad’s wrath.

“You’ll end up just like your dad.”

I clamped my eyes shut, wishing I’d never said those words. In my heart, I worried they could be true–where would Xander be ten years from now? Twenty?

And what about me?

I thought about what Lena had said, about how I was good with kids. It was something I sort of knew, which was the reason I was considering going into education in the first place, but there was something validating about her words. It was like I needed permission to choose the field of education over, say, biochemistry–and Lena’s opinion meant a lot.

As I turned around to make my way toward the woodworking shed, my mind drifted to how beautiful Lena looked earlier, with her dark hair falling over one shoulder and her hands sweetly tucked underneath her legs. She was probably long gone now, or maybe she was still with the people singing and carrying on by the fire.

I regretted not spending more time talking to her. Up until twelve hours ago, before this whole Beth thing happened, Lena Brower was the girl I thought about the most. On any other day, I would have been ecstatic we were at the same party, but I had let Beth distract me.

Man, I really blew it.

When I reached the shed, I noticed the latch was already undone. At first, I thought Abigail and I might have accidentally left it that way, but a sliver of light spilled from the partially open door. Someone was inside.

I cautiously walked into the shed, half-expecting to find another couple in the middle of a make-out session, or maybe it was just Abigail, returning the extension cord.

But sitting over on the cot, wiping tears from her cheeks, was Lena.

Chapter nine

“Sweet Disposition” - The Temper Trap

“Owen!” Lena wiped her nose with the back of her hand, frantically trying to hide the fact she had been in here crying. But her eyes were red, and there was still a tear rolling down her chin.

“I–I’m sorry. I didn’t know who was in here.” I approached her slowly, unsure of whether my presence was wanted right now or not. However, my curiosity about the reason behind her tears got the best of me. Was somebody at this party responsible for making her feel this way? Were they still here? And would I be able to track them down? I sat on the cot next to her, keeping some space between us. “Are you okay? I mean… obviously you’re not okay. What’s wrong?”

She stared down at her knees, shaking her head. “This is just not my night, that’s all.”

I was tempted to concur, but I wanted to know more about her situation. “Just give me a name, and I’ll take care of the guy,” I joked.

“Not a guy,” she said with a small smile. “Well, not really. It’s Bailey and her new boyfriend. Once he showed up a littlebit ago, I became the third wheel, and it’s getting a little old. I confronted Bailey about how she’s been acting toward me lately, and it didn’t go very well. And then I tried to leave, but my car’s blocked in.” It sounded like she was holding in a sob. “This whole night’s a mess.”

I nodded, understanding her better than she knew. “Confronting friends is never easy. But some things need to be said, you know? Maybe it’s not so bad.”

“I feel like she and I are drifting in different directions.”

“I can relate,” I said, looking down at her pink Chuck Taylors and comparing the size of my foot to hers. “Xander really pissed me off tonight.”

Lena gave me a sympathetic half-smile. “I caught that.”

“Then I’m sure you also caught him announcing to everyone by the fire that the entire point of this party was for me to lose my virginity.”

“Yeah, I heard that, too. How’s that… working out for you?”

I turned to her and dipped my chin, giving her a few dramatic, slow blinks. Her hands shot to her mouth to cover a smile.

“Sorry,” she said with a giggle. “I’m not laughing at your situation. Just the look on your face right now.”

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