Page 74 of Defiant Beta

“Della?” It’s Levi.

Suddenly, I’m noticing other things I missed before.

A big basket of rotting fruit on the dresser.

Everleigh brought me that…

When? A few days ago.

I think.

I told myself I would take it downstairs so the alphas could have some because it was too much for me. But I didn’t eat a piece, and I didn’t take it downstairs.

“I’ve brought some food up for you,” Levi continues.

I hear the soft clatter of something being placed on the floor. Metal chinks against glass.

“If you need anything else, I’m downstairs. Okay?”

The silence drags on for nearly a minute.

When I don’t respond, I catch the faintest sigh, and then the footsteps move away from my door again.

I look at the basket of rotting food and the tiny fruit flies circling it. The longer I sit still, the more I smell myself.

I look at the hospital gown, and I can’t remember the last time I changed out of it. Everleigh brought me a bag of new clothes to wear, and it’s still untouched next to the dresser, along with the small white paper bag filled with medicine from the hospital.

Soft footsteps pull my gaze back to my door.

I wait for a knock, maybe Levi asking me if I need something else, or to collect the food that I never brought into my room.

The light hasn’t changed, so if I lost more time, it wasn’t a huge chunk of it like before.

But the knock on my door doesn’t come. Someone is out there. I hear their soft breathing, and I don’t know if it’s Levi, Professor Vincent, or Xavier.

I count down the seconds as I will them away.

I’ve reached fifty when they leave.

I don’t want to get up. All I want is to stay curled up like a prawn, my arms locked tight around myself forever. That’s all I want.

But this isn’t me.

When someone hurts you, you hurt them back.

Thatis me.

You fight even if you will lose.

Thatisme.

Butthis…

Forcing myself to my feet is a battle I don’t want to fight, but I make myself do it.

I keep wanting to sit down or crawl back into bed and stay there forever. I don’t because I might lie down and not move until I’m gray-haired and old.

My reflection in the bathroom mirror is a stranger. Wan face. Dark circles. Pale skin.

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