Page 73 of Defiant Beta

As I leave the house, I glance up the staircase.

My mind feels split in half. Our investigation is finally gaining traction, but I desperately want to know how to help the beta upstairs who is a broken shell of herself.

Chapter 24

Della

I keep losingmy sense of time.

I’ll be staring out of my windows at the rainforest view outside, and it’s daylight. Iknowit’s daylight. Then I’ll blink, and it’s pitch black, my eyes are dry, and I don’t know what time it is.

It keeps happening, and I don’t know how to stop it.

I blink, and someone is knocking on the door.

I curl up into a tighter ball, ignoring them, hoping they’ll go away.

It used to be easier to scramble to my feet, stuff myself into a bathrobe, and take food I wouldn’t eat before I crawled back into bed. Now, I’ve lost the strength to move. And the will.

The knocking stops, and I breathe out a sigh of relief that I don’t have to get up and pretend again. I can’t today. Maybe tomorrow.

Footsteps move away from my door, and time skips again.

It’s not dark blue skies outside my window.

It’s bright sunlight. Almost too bright to look at.

A small brown bird lands on the sparkling silver balcony edge. I’m almost positive it’s staring right at me.

I wonder what it thinks of me.

That I’m lazy?

That I should get off my ass?

“I can’t, little bird,” I whisper.

The bird blinks its tiny black eyes and takes off.

I watch it soar up into the sky, and then plummet.

Something about that little bird falling like that makes me panic.

I have to know it’s okay. I have to make sure.

I scramble to my feet. Too fast. I stagger, my knees shaking as tiny bright lights dance across my vision.

When the dizziness subsides, I continue to the window. I slide the glass door open and shiver from the cool breeze as I stand on the balcony, looking for the little brown bird.

It isn’t there.

“Where did you go?” I have one leg over the railing when I realize what I’m doing.

Flinging myself back, I sink to the floor and stare through the glass of my balcony, shaking and panting so hard that my chest hurts.

“I’m not okay,” I whisper as I hug my knees. “Something is wrong. I am not okay.”

A knock sounds from my door.

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