Page 75 of Defiant Beta

Not me.

I unwrap a toothbrush from a bathroom cupboard, load it with toothpaste, and brush my teeth.

It takes an eternity.

Then I slip out of my hospital gown and walk into a massive white and gray stone rainforest-style shower and turn on the faucet. When cold water blasts me, I shiver. When it hits my back, I flinch and wince. There was an ointment I should have been using, and because I haven’t, my back hasn’t been healing. Maybe it’s even infected.

Without waiting for the cold water to heat up, I reach for the body wash and scrub my armpits, arms, and chest. I leave my back alone and don’t bend to scrub my legs. I’m so lightheaded that it would be a mistake.

My hair is too much effort. The water will have to be enough.

As I step out, I wrap myself in a towel and head back to the bedroom. I sift through the bag of clothes that Ever brought for me, pulling out underwear, a pair of loose gray sweatpants, a blue T-shirt, and a hoodie. After raking my fingers through my hair and wincing when they snag on tangles, I leave my hair down to dry on its own.

It’s dark outside.

When did that happen?

After resting for a bit, I pick up the fruit basket and leave my room for the first time. The tray that Levi said he was leaving for me is gone. He must have taken it away when I didn’t collect it.

Downstairs, I move quietly, not wanting to talk to anyone.

I needn’t have bothered. Most of the lights are off, and it’s silent. The only person moving around is me.

In the kitchen, I open three cupboards before finding where they keep the trash bags, double bag the fruit, and throw it away. I put the big basket on the pantry floor.

I’m exhausted. More than I should be for having showered and thrown out the trash.

I find a packet of crackers and fill a glass of water. Then I sit at the kitchen island, staring ahead as I force myself to eat a cracker, sip a little water, and eat another cracker.

I keep thinking about the bed upstairs, how comfortable and warm it is, and how safe it felt when I was up there with the door closed.

Wouldn’t it be better to crawl back under those covers and pretend the world doesn’t exist? Wouldn’t I prefer to continue skipping chunks of time so I don’t have to think about three men who need to die?

About what they did to me.

Yes.

But when someone hurts you, you hurt them back.

You don’t crawl under the sheets and hide.

The hum of a deep male voice on my right drags me out of my thoughts. It’s coming from behind the only closed door in the entryway, where light creeps from underneath. I consider ignoring it.

Then the voice rises.

I’m getting up to return to my room when a word stops me.

No. Aname. An unexpected one that pierces through my hazy, flat thoughts.

I stand in the dim kitchen, and I struggle with what to do.

Crawl back under my sheets or investigate? The old Della wouldn’t hesitate.

This Della is a stranger I don’t recognize.

Chapter 25

Vincent