Page 56 of Finally Loved

“Uh, yeah, um, that’s the… breakup, if you like, that happened this week. We’re not friends anymore.”

Robin smiled. “Ah. Congratulations.”

Neve wondered whether that was an odd thing to say. She wondered whether it was an odd thing to feel glad that someone did congratulate her. Perhaps that was a sign that she was doing the right thing staying away from Charlie and Alice.

“So,” Robin said with a laugh, “not poly?”

Neve’s head was spinning but she still managed a smile. “Not poly.”

“You are queer, though, right?”

“Yes. Definitely that.” She took a breath. “I’m asexual, actually. Sapphic, but, you know, ace is like… the part that feels the most… dominant, I guess.”

“Ah, dude, that’s so cool. Knew I had you pegged as a fellow gay.”

Neve tried to smile but she could feel how painful it was.

“What’s with the face?” Robin laughed.

“Sorry.” Neve shook her head, looking down. “Guess I’ve just been feeling like it’s more of a problem than something to celebrate.”

“What? Why?”

She blew out a heavy breath. “It, uh, tends to be the reason people break up with me. A lot.”

“Shit. Sorry, dude. That sucks.” She patted Neve’s arm. “Just gotta find the right one. When you do that, nothing else will matter.”

“You think so?” Neve wasn’t so sure.

“Yeah, for sure. Hell, if my girlfriend never wanted to have sex again, I wouldn’t care less.”

“You wouldn’t miss it?”

“Pfft. Not more than I’d miss the rest of our relationship or her presence in my life.” She stood up. “Trust me, the one for you is out there, you’re just rooting out the ones who aren’t good enough for you.”

Neve found Robin’s statements hard to believe. It was clear she adored her girlfriend, but wasn’t it easy to adore someone when they gave you everything you wanted? It seemed easy to say, but living with the reality was something quite different.

Robin smiled. “People find themselves happy and willing to give up all kinds of things for relationships, for love, for the people they care about. With the right person, it doesn’t feel like sacrifice at all. You find ways to make it work together.”

“Yeah, maybe…” Neve still wasn’t sure she believed it, but she couldn’t deny she liked the hope of it.

“And, hey, you’re already improving your life—dropping toxic friends, looking out for yourself. Your time is coming.”

Neve winced. There was still a part of her that couldn’t think of Charlie and Alice that way. They’d been a part of her life for so long, she’d thought they’d be friends forever. “Yeah.”

“You live with them, right?”

Neve’s brow furrowed. Perhaps she’d given away more than she’d intended at work. “Yeah. We share an apartment.”

“That must be awkward as hell right now. You moving?”

“I think I need to.”

“Great,” she said, a massive grin spreading across her face. “Another step in the right direction for you. Look at you justkilling it at life. And, hey, if you need any help moving into a new place, just give me a shout. Always happy to help, and my girlfriend’s even handier than I am. We’ll have you moved in and set up in no time.”

The weight of everything that had happened lately seemed to weigh down on Neve. It felt like everything she’d ever known was wrong. She’d sacrificed potential friendships with people who were paying attention to her and willing to offer help at the drop of a hat in favor of those who never truly even liked her. She could only imagine how much she’d missed out on.

Plus, it was just nice to feel people care.

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