Page 55 of Finally Loved

She froze when Neve stirred, a soft sound escaping from her lips as her eyes cracked momentarily and she reached out towards Alba.

For half a second, Alba thought about launching herself out of the bed. She wasn’t certain Neve would remember coming here, or that Alba was going to be sleeping in the same bed as her. The last thing Alba wanted was for Neve’s fingers to make contact with her, startle her awake, and send her into an understandable panic.

However, she didn’t need to worry. Neve’s fingers found Alba’s arm, which she used as an anchor point to pull herself in closer to Alba. It wasn’t like they hadn’t been that close in Neve’s bed, but, in Alba’s slightly larger bed, and with the soft, sleepy way she did it, it set Alba’s heart racing.

She wrapped her arm around Neve and leaned her head forwards to meet Neve’s, their foreheads pressed together as they both balanced at the edges of their pillows. Alba’s entire body felt alive and tingly. She assumed it was mostly because she needed to sleep and had just drunk a coffee, but, deep down, she suspected there might be something more to it—something Zainab might have warned her about.

Neve hummed quietly and Alba was certain she was drifting back into sleep, but, right before she did, in the softest, sweetestvoice Alba had ever heard, she murmured, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

Alba’s breath caught and she couldn’t resist pressing a gentle kiss to Neve’s forehead before resting her own there again. It seemed that, in every part of this, Zainab had been right. It was somewhat inconvenient—not to mention frustrating—that she was right again. Alba’s only intention was to be Neve’s friend, but even she couldn’t deny she might be falling for the woman. And, of course, Zainab was right that it was going to hurt like hell until she could get over it, but, in moments like this, Alba couldn’t find it in herself to care. She’d happily take the pain. She’d take every single gut-wrenching, soul-tearing moment of it just to be around Neve, just to be the one who made her feel safe and loved and appreciated after all this. The pain was nothing in comparison to that.

Chapter 17

By the time Thursday evening rolled around, Neve was exhausted. She was more than ready to leave work.

Her night at Alba’s, unplanned though it had been, was everything she’d needed. She slept better than she’d expected, and, when she woke up with Alba wrapped around her, all she felt was safety. She liked not feeling alone, especially when, moments later, the reality of the previous day and the fact that she’d have to go home that night came crashing down around her.

Last night had been nothing close to restful. She’d gone home after work, knowing she couldn’t avoid her place forever, but all she’d really done had been hiding in her room all night, pretending not to be there. After an evening of that, peaceful sleep was difficult to come by. It felt as though, at any moment, Charlie was going to bang on her door and insist they talk, even though Neve was nowhere close to being ready to talk about it.She had no idea if she ever would be, but she definitely wasn’t there yet.

Nobody had knocked. Neither Alice nor Charlie had texted, said anything, or done anything. At least not until she was leaving for work. Already looking drained and exhausted, and knowing she was going to have to get breakfast on the way to the office, she rushed out of her door and almost stepped on a plate of pancakes.

She’d paused, stared at them, and her eyes had slipped to the note next to them. Alice’s handwriting telling her Charlie was sorry.

Neve’s skin had prickled uncomfortably as a mix of contradictory emotions flooded through her. But she still wasn’t ready. She especially wasn’t ready to accept Alice’s suggestion of an apology, a plate of pancakes, and the expectation that everything was okay. Did Alice really think things would go back to normal? Did Charlie? Neve’s night away had told her that wasn’t possible, and her body, prickling and wanting her to flee, was reinforcing that message.

So, she’d fled from the apartment, leaving the pancakes and the message, and avoiding them both on the way out, and she’d attempted to be normal all day at work. She wasn’t sure she’d been particularly successful.

“Hey, Neve,” Robin’s cheerful voice called as she approached Neve’s desk.

The two of them had worked together for a while now. From the first moment they’d met, Neve had been certain Robin was queer. She almost exclusively wore either plaid or playfully patterned shirts, and Neve could count on one hand the times she’d seen Robin without either a cap or a beanie.

“Hey,” Neve replied, trying to muster her usual energy.

As she watched Robin drop onto a backwards chair, it occurred to her that she’d always thought she’d enjoy beingfriends with Robin but she’d never quite managed it. It was only as she thought it that she realized that, early on, Robin had invited her to things but Neve had always said no. She’d always been busy with Charlie and Alice, always been conscious that she needed to be where Charlie expected her to be.

Robin studied her for a moment. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but, did you break up with someone recently?”

The attention hadn’t felt critical, probably because Robin’s expression perpetually looked like she was moments away from joyous laughter, but, now that the question was out, Neve felt cold and exposed. She didn’t really talk about her personal life at work and she couldn’t figure out what she’d done that had exposed her. The one time her personal life and her real life had collided, it had led to the whole thing with Charlie and Oluwatobi, and Neve didn’t need a repeat of that. The awkwardness with him was already enough.

“Oh. Um. Yeah,” she muttered, looking away. “It was a minute ago now, but, yeah, that’s a thing that happened.”

“Oh, really? It wasn’t this week?”

Neve looked back up at her, confused. “No. Why?”

Robin shrugged. “You’ve just seemed different the past few days. Like, kind of exhausted and sad—which is totally normal for a breakup—but also… I don’t know, free. Like a weight’s been lifted.”

Neve stared at her. Was that what it looked like from the outside? She’d been so lost in the grief of losing a friend—or learning that a friend had never been good for her—that she hadn’t considered that there might be some freedom with it too.

“You okay?” Robin asked, wheeling her chair closer. “Sorry. My girlfriend always tells me I’m too direct. I just figured, if you were fresh out of a breakup, you might need a friend. You know, especially since your partners seemed a… little controlling, honestly.”

“Partners?”

“Yeah. Charlie and Alice, right?” She waved her hands through the air. “Seemed like they had you on a tight leash.”

Neve’s face burned. “Oh! No. I wasn’t dating them. They are just my friends. Were.”

“Huh. Sorry. Just thought you were poly. Pretty controlling friends you’ve got there. Guess there’s no point hiding that opinion now.”

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