Page 37 of I Always Will

She took a steadying breath. “Do you want to order or shall I choose something for you?”

Alexandria looked at her like she couldn’t believe they were still playing with fire, and Hailey was certain she’d choose something for herself, something she didn’t secretly suspect was on the menu for her. So, she was surprised when Alexandria quietly uttered, “You can choose. I trust you.”

“Do you?” Hailey asked instinctively, desperately. She couldn’t see how it could be true, but she wanted it to be.

“Of course.”

Hailey felt dizzy. This wasn’t like her. Though, she supposed she had no idea what thirty-five-year-old her was like around Alexandria. She wanted to know, though. “Great. I’ll get that ready for you.”

Alexandria smiled—shy and awkward—before moving down the counter to join her family.

She was going to be the death of Hailey. She always had been. It was oddly comforting to see nothing had changed, even if it terrified her.

She stared at the till unsure whether she was supposed to choose something that was undoubtedly on the menu for Alexandria or something that wasn’t, to cover her tracks. The last time Alexandria had been here, Hailey had recommended something for her that she knew she’d like but that had plausible deniability. She could do the same again. Though what use that would be at this point, she had no idea. Surely the game was up and she should just lean into it?

She entered a ‘create your own’ with Welsh rarebit sauce and baked beans. The only person she’d ever seen eat that had been Alexandria, much to her parent’s dismay. Her mother had been horrified, her father confused, but Alexandria had been happy.

Nervously, she made the bowls up, handing them off at the end of the counter and squirming uncomfortably when, in her peripheral vision, she saw Alexandria’s eyes widen and look up to scan the menu again, undoubtedly checking whether this was a regular menu item or something Hailey had created just for her. Hailey wasn’t sure which was better. She simply made herself scarce the second she could, asking Homer to cover for her for a few minutes.

As she paced her office, she realised she wasn’t going to be able to get through this wedding alone. She was going to need reinforcements.

She pulled her phone out and called Farid.

“Unless you’re calling me to tell me you’ve finally gotten a grip on yourself and proposed to Alexandria, I’m not interested,” he said jovially upon answering.

“Hilarious,” Hailey deadpanned. “No. I need you to be my date.”

He paused. “You’re a lesbian.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“Hey, you’re the one trying to get me to date you.”

“I am not.” She scrubbed her palm over her forehead. “To the wedding. Esme and Daniel’s wedding. I need you to be my date. Alexandria’s obviously going to be there and it’s just… I just can’t… Please. I need you to be my plus one.”

“Ah. No can do, sorry. I already have plans.”

“Plans?” How was that possible? She supposed she knew. Farid didn’t sit around waiting for her to call so he could be her emergency date. Nor should he, for that matter, but she needed help. She couldn’t go alone. “On the day of the wedding? Really?”

“Yep. Sorry. You’ll have to keep me posted on how you get on.”

He didn’t sound all that sorry at all, more amused if anything. Hailey wasn’t sure she liked it.

“Ugh. I was counting on you.”

He laughed. “I’m sure you’ll find a way to get through it just fine.”

She groaned. “Easy for you to say.”

He laughed again. “Should you be working?”

“What are you, my mother?”

“If I were, you wouldn’t talk to me like that.”

“I wouldn’t be talking to you at all.” They both knew it had been years since Hailey had spoken to either of her parents. She wasn’t even sure where they were or what they were doing these days. She liked it that way. Their fighting had been one thing, but the weird brand of uncomfortable homophobia they’d both revealed when she came out had sealed the deal on never speaking to them again.

“I’m taking that as a yes and letting you get back to it.”

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