Page 21 of I Always Will

“We were close,” she finally said, her voice only just loud enough for the phone to pick up. “Reallyclose.”

“Were you a couple?”

“No. Not really.”

He laughed once. “That’s not really an option in dating, Al. You’re either together or you’re not. You can’t be half in and expect it to work. People need to know they matter, that you’re in it with them.”

“Yes, thank you.” She snorted. “Your memory might be shot, but you’re oddly wise, you know that?”

“I do, in fact. Thank you so much.”

She rolled her eyes. He was incorrigible. “We weren’t together. We just… We were the only two out people we knew. A few of our friends came out later, becauseof coursethey did, but in school, it was just the two of us. We were practically glued together. And I… I don’t know… I just…” She cleared her throat. It hadn’t just been that they were the only two out people they knew. It would always have been her. “Well, I always…”

“You fancied her?” His tone told Alexandria that he didn’t need an answer. He’d put together the facts as she’d danced around them, not knowing whether she really wanted to tell him what happened.

Of course, that wasn’t nearly the whole story, but it was all she was willing to tell him. She wasn’t about to get into just how in love she’d been with her best friend, how they’d been each other’s first kisses, how they’d made a pact for when they turned thirty-five…

“Yeah. I guess that’s it,” she said with a sigh.

“That’s all it is? That’s why you’ve been ignoring the group chat and why you’ve been so stressed?” He laughed. “Al, that’s nothing. Wow. I’ve been worrying something awful happened.”

Didn’t it?

She pursed her lips. She supposed, on the outside, it didn’t seem like much. It was barely scratching the iceberg of her relationship with Hailey, after all. “Yeah, sorry. I guess that’s it. I’ve just been worrying it would be weird, is all.”

That was the understatement of the century.

Daniel laughed, heaving a breath like a weight had been lifted, and she genuinely felt bad about worrying him. He had enough going on without all of her high school drama.

“Sorry,” he said, still sounding amused. “I really was expecting something worse, so I’m just a little relieved. I totally get why it might be weird for you, but it was a long time ago, you were both kids. I doubt she even knew. Or, if she did, she’s probably forgotten all about it by now. She seemed fine in the group and when we were at Mash-N-Go, right?”

“Yeah.” What else was she going to say? What else could she say?

“You should message her privately,” Daniel said, his tone implying he thought he’d hit upon a genius idea.

“I’m sorry, what?” Alexandria asked, blinking at her wall. How had he gottenthere?

“Well, you’re worried about things being weird between you, so just send her a private message, clear the air. I’m sure it will help and then you won’t have to keep worrying about it. It’s not going to come up in the group in front of everyone, you’ll feel better, and we can all get on with celebrating my wedding.”

“Maybe…” Alexandria had no problem setting boundaries and turning people down at work, but, when it came to her brother, that was a whole different story.

“Do it.” She could hear the triumph in his voice like he’d suddenly solved twenty years of pent-up emotions and yearning and heartbreak in one fell swoop. “I look forward to hearing how it goes. And I look forward to seeing you actually talking in the group. So get to it.”

He said goodbye and hung up before she could even reply.

She set her phone back on the counter, momentarily ignoring the notification that told her twelve new messages had come in for the group chat while she’d been on the phone. She’d deal with those in a minute. First, she had to wrap her head around the fact that she was supposed to privately message Hailey. For the first time in years. And Daniel was going to check she’d done it.

Maybe he was right. Maybe Hailey had forgotten everything.

Alexandria wondered whether she should be hoping for that when she knew her heart wouldn’t be able to take it. She should want both of them to have forgotten. She desperately hoped they hadn’t.

Eight

Twenty years ago

“My uncle’s getting married,” Hailey said, throwing herself down onto Alexandria’s bed. She stayed over so much that it was almost her bed too. The thought made Alexandria feel a little too warm inside.

“Oh, yes?” she asked, forcing herself to stay on-topic.

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