Page 87 of I Could Be Yours

“The best, right?” Flip nods to his parents, then turns back to Tristan and Rix. “There are so many great times ahead, so much to look forward to and celebrate, and I know when things get tough, you two will hold each other up. The commitment you’re making to each other, to have someone’s unconditional love, a person who will never leave, even when it gets tough—” heclears his throat. “Marriage is so special, and it’s such an honor to be part of this with you. Your devotion to each other has made me want to be a better person for myself and the people I love. I adore you both. I’ll always be in your corner, rooting for you. Thank you for sharing your hearts with all of us.” He raises his glass. “To Tristan and Rix and a lifetime of love.”

The crowd echoes Flip, and Tristan and Rix get up to hug him. Their parents join them, and they’re a mass of love and laughter and happy tears.

Nate pushes his chair away from the table and ducks out the back of the tent. People leave their chairs and head for the bar while Muffy and Howard set up the slideshow. Everyone is occupied, so I follow Nate. He stops and leans against a palm tree, eyes on the ocean.

At the clip of my heels, his head swivels my way.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” He extends his hand as I near him.

I step out of my heels, leaving them on the boardwalk as I slip my fingers in his and move onto the grass with him. “You okay?”

“I just needed some air.”

I don’t comment on the fact that we’ve been sitting under an outdoor tent, breathing in the salty ocean breeze. All of this is a trigger for Nate, I’ve come to realize. The wedding, people being in love, families coming together to support and celebrate. He wants to be a good brother to Tristan, but it also hurts.

He tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear, his gaze shifting back to the ocean. He’s so beautiful and brilliant and sad, and it makes my heart ache. I’m afraid to dig into his pain, but I don’t want to leave him here hurting alone.

“It’s okay if this is hard for you,” I whisper.

He sighs, the sound heavy with hidden emotion. “I’m happy for them.”

“You can be happy for someone else and still feel pain.” Igive in to the desire to comfort him and gently skim his arm. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“You’re here. That helps.”

I see the little boy who was left by someone who was supposed to love him unconditionally, and has become a man who fears the pain that love can bring when it’s taken away. “Can I hug you?”

His eyes lift and he nods once.

I step forward and wrap my arms around his waist. He drops his head, pressing his face against my neck as he squeezes me tightly.

I run my hand up and down his back, soothing him. “It’s okay that you’re struggling, Nate.”

“I wish I wasn’t, though,” he whispers. “I wish this didn’t hurt. I wish I could just be happy and not afraid.”

“We don’t always get to choose the emotions we feel, but we do get to choose how we allow them to rule us.”

He pulls back and strokes my cheek. “You’re a beautiful person, Essie.”

“Voted hottest in my class four years in a row,” I joke and immediately hate how I’ve twisted his compliment to mirror my own fears and vulnerabilities.

That furrow I adore so much appears. “I don’t need to tell you you’re pretty on the outside.” He taps gently over my heart. “This part of you is what makes you so incredible.”

“Thanks.” My heart stutters a beat.

“Thank you. For making a hard day manageable just by being you.” He takes my hand and presses it to his chest. He opens his mouth to say something, but Muffy’s voice comes over the mic.

“The slideshow is about to begin! You don’t want to miss this.”

“Did you want to say something else?” I ask.

“Nah, it can wait until later.” He leans inand kisses my cheek. “I’m just going to use the bathroom. I’ll be right behind you.”

I return to the tent and slide into my seat next to Rix. Tristan walks toward us, two drinks in his hands.

“Have you seen Nate?” Rix asks quietly.

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