Page 102 of I Could Be Yours

“You’re right, I do. Lexi is very much like a sister to me. We understand each other in a way not everyone can because we share common trauma. And I’ve had a lot of brothers and sisters over the years, but Flip is the truest family I’ve ever had. They both might as well be blood with how much space they take up in my heart.”

“Flip really is your best friend, isn’t he?”

“He is. One day, when he gets his head out of his ass andrealizes his soul mate is waiting for him to finally fucking seeher, I’ll be the one to help him through all those feelings.”

I arch a brow. “Are you talking about who I think you’re talking about?”

“I think her harmless teenage crush has shifted in the last year.”

“It’ll be messy when it happens, won’t it?”

“Yeah. But she needs to live a little more, and he’s not there yet, which isn’t a bad thing, so that’s a bridge for another day. Back to you and love. You’re surrounded by people who adore you and see you, Essie. All of you. Anyone lucky to be in your orbit knows that you’re wickedly smart, and kind, and generous, and the space in your heart is limitless. Take some of the faith you have in other people’s love and share it with yourself. Nate might be your person, but how will you know if you don’t give your hearts a chance outside of this bubble?”

CHAPTER 32

NATE

Ishould have kept my stupid mouth shut. I had a plan, and I deviated from it, and now it’s shot all to shit. I won’t get tonight with Essie. I won’t get to hold her, or kiss her, or be with her.

But maybe she’s right. Maybe this gaping hole in my chest has nothing to do with loving her. Maybe it is all the shit I’ve been keeping locked inside trying to gnaw its way out.

I can’t go back to the wedding. Not when everyone is happy and my heart has been punted into the ocean and chewed on by sharks. I don’t want Tristan or my dad to see me and ask questions. No one needs my rain cloud tonight but me.

I leave the boardwalk and take to the beach to avoid running into people. My shoes fill with sand, but I don’t stop to take them off, even though it’s uncomfortable and slows me down. I’m so up in my head that I almost trip over Connor. He’s drinking straight from a bottle of expensive champagne.

“Shit, sorry.” I stumble back and lose my footing, landing on my ass beside him.

“What are you doing out here?” His eyes narrow. “Your mother didn’t try to crash the wedding, did she? Security is supposed to be on the lookout.”

“She’s not here. I’m just trying not to spread my bad mood around to people who don’t deserve it.”

“Ah. I get that.” He passes me the bottle of champagne. “Feel free to stick around for as long as you like. We can be morose as fuck together.”

“Why are you morose as fuck?” I’m happy to take my mind off my own problems and listen to someone else’s. I tip the bottle back and let the bubbles coat my tongue.

“Because I’m me, and my family hates me. And because Meems is getting old, and all the fucking money in the world can’t keep her here forever.”

I pass the champagne back. “I’m really sorry.” My mother might suck a bag of dicks, but my dad and my brothers more than make up for it. And now we have Rix. And my dad has Sophia. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re a good guy. I appreciate you helping us out with my mother. I owe you.”

“I’m not a good guy, and you don’t owe me anything.” He takes a long swig from the bottle and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “I just know what it’s like to have shitty parents. I’m glad I could save Tristan and Rix from the stress of that, but I’m sorry for whatever trash that’s dug up for you.”

We pass the bottle back and forth.

I keep trying to bury the memories of my mother, but they always work their way back to the surface. “I should probably go to therapy.”

He nods slowly. “Tristan seems to be a fan.”

“Yeah.”

“Is that why you’re morose as fuck?”

I shake my head. “Mostly no.”

“Does it have anything to do with the maid of honor?”

I frown. “Why would you think that?”

“Just a sense I get. Lot of sexual tension there.” He takes another swig from his champagne. “So what’s going on?”

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