Page 74 of Matrix

“That’s a huge problem. His club and my job don’t mix. Hell, I was undercover as a club girl.Was, being the keyword. I’m not anymore. I haven’t called the SAC since I hung up on him the other day. For all I know, I don’t work for the FBI because they fired me.”

“How does that make you feel?” She turns her head, looking my way.

“Honestly? Scared. Relieved. I have mixed emotions, but they’re all at war with each other. I’m afraid because working for the government is the only real job I’ve ever had. On the other hand, I’m relieved because, even though I haven’t been doing it directly, it feels like I’m playing both sides. I’m failing at my job, but I’m also failing the club.”

“You feel an allegiance to them, don’t you?” She nods as if she understands, and I suppose she does.

“Yes. Matrix told me a little bit about one of the men behind this trafficking ring. He’s a terrible, evil monster. The FBI has been watching him for years, but they don’t have anything on him. He’s like Teflon. Nothing sticks. There are rumors, and sometimes, even a video surfaces, but Blackstone’s smart enough not to leave any real evidence behind.”

“Until now.”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“Your sister and the other girls could testify against him.”

“They could. But only if they want to. I won’t force them to do it, not when they’re so young and scared. Also, we’re not sure if they can even connect Blackstone to the cartel’s operation. We won’t know until they wake up. By the way, how are the other girls?”

“About as good as Angela. They’re also coming off heroin, which is one hell of a drug. I know from personal experience.”

“Really? You were an addict?”

“When Vapor found me, I had one foot in the grave and the other on the proverbial banana peel. He saved my life.” She glances at me.“You’re probably wondering why he rescued me when so many people need his help.”

“I am, but I don’t want to pry.”

“That’s okay. We have time. The long and short of it is that I was working as a madam in a local brothel. It took a long time for me to fall that far, but drugs had a lot to do with it.” She stops and gets that faraway look people have when theyremember something traumatic.“Anyway, he and his club raided the house and shut it down. They gave me an ultimatum. Get clear or die. They kept me locked up for months.”

“Oh, my God.” I sit back, shocked.

“It was the right thing to do. Really. If you’d been there, you’d understand it was the only option. I think they took pity on me because of the drugs. Also, I wasn’t running the brothel. Not all of it. I was just doing the scheduling, and I kept the girls in line. I hate what I did, and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make amends.” A single tear streaks down her cheek before she wipes it away.

“I’m sorry that happened. I know enough about drug cases to realize something terrible must have happened for you to be that hooked.”

“Yes, but that’s a story I’ll never tell.” She sighs deeply.“But back to Matrix. You love him. Does he feel the same way about you?”

“Yes. He just told me for the first time.” I can’t help but smile. Other than my family, no one’s ever loved me before. It’s exciting and amazing and terrifying at the same time.

“Then you have a choice to make.”

“Which is?”

“Leave the FBI and commit yourself to him and the club. Or walk away from him and lose the love you two clearly share. I could see it the minute you walked into our clubhouse. You’re electric when you’re together, like a hot summer storm.”

“We have chemistry. That’s for sure. I love him, but leaving my job could be a disaster. If things don’t work out between Matrix and me, then what? Not only will I have torched my career, but I’ll lose my security clearance too. I’ll never get another job in the government.”

“There are other types of employment,” she says wryly.

“I know, but ever since I was a little girl, all I wanted to do was put bad guys behind bars.”

“You can do that with the club.”

“Not really. The things they do aren’t legal. They’d never hold up in court.” I lower my voice to a whisper.“They don’t wait around for the justice system to deal with men like Blackstone. They kill them instead. I watched Matrix do it.” I conveniently leave out the fact that I killed a man too. That guy absolutely deserved it, so maybe my morality is more flexible than I think.

“Yet you didn’t report him. If you did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“No. But only because the guy he killed deserved to die.”

“Sometimes, that’s the only real way to get vengeance.”

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