Page 75 of Matrix

“I know, but if I joined the club, I’d be going against everything I stand for. I believe that justice ultimately prevails. In most cases.”

“But not all.”

“No. Some criminals are too intelligent, or they’re exceptionally resourceful. They have scumbag lawyers who know every loophole.”

“Fuck those guys.”

“Absolutely.” I chuckle.

“I think you and Matrix will be good together. Walk away from that job. You’ll make a great old lady for him. He needs a woman like you, someone who can keep him in line.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. He keeps me on my toes. That’s for sure.”

“And based on what I heard the other night, he’s damn good in bed.”

“Babet!”

“Oh, let an old woman have some fun.”

“You’re not old.”

“I’m fifty-five, and some days, I feel every one of those years.”

“Well, I don’t see it. Your energy is that of a woman half your age.” I give her a one-armed side hug.

“Thank you. I wish I’d made different choices when I was your age, but I didn’t. That’s what got me into drugs and everything related to it. I thank God every day that Vapor gave me a second chance. He could have killed me, but he didn’t. These men, they may look like outlaw bikers, but they have hearts of gold.”

“I know. I see how good they are with the people they rescue. They’re nothing like what I expected when I first went undercover. None of them even tried to make me sleep with them. I thought I’d have to get close to one of the guys to get more intel, but that never happened. If anything, they weretoorespectful.” I smile.“Matrix never touched me until after he found out I was an agent.”

“The irony.”

“Right? And now he can’t keep his hands off me.”

“What aterribleproblem to have.” She rolls her eyes but laughs.

“I’m not complaining. Trust me on that.”

“Oh, I do. Which is why you need to hold onto him. I had a guy like him once. A good, kind, honorable man. But I was wild and wanted excitement. He seemed too tame. Too domesticated. I didn’t realize it until years later, but if I’d stayed with him, my life would have been so different.”

“Have you tried to contact him since you got clean?” I ask.

“No. I never looked him up.”

“Why not?”

“Too much has happened. I’m not the same person he knew.”

“But you recovered. You’re not using anymore, right?”

“Eight years clean.”

“Congratulations.”

“I still talk to my sponsor every week. She’s my best friend now.”

“What you did is amazing. So many people are enslaved by drugs and alcohol. You’re free of it. I think you should call that man. At least look him up to see if he’s married. If he is, then there’s no point in calling. But if he’s not …”

“I’ll think about it,” she says noncommittally.

---