Page 19 of We Could Be Better

I was sitting on the back patio smoking a blunt waiting for everyone to arrive. It’s been so long since I smoked weed but what went down a few weeks ago wasn’t sitting well with me, so it was only right I had something to clear my head. I called my auntie which was Mina mom and told her to come over for dinner. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into, butI figured he might as well meet his daughter tonight. “Now or never” I thought as I got up to go answer the door.

Everyone was sitting at the table eating and I was so nervous about how this conversation would go. I didn’t know where to start, so just sat there drinking praying once Paisley walk through that door everything would be explained to Cash without me even saying anything. The door bell rung and Dreka jumped up to get it. I looked at Mina and she just hit my leg saying everything would be ok.

“Mina” Pai ran and jumped in Mina arms

“Hey, my baby what have you been doing?” I looked at Mina and Pai and wished we had that relationship. But I knew it would take her a little minute getting use to me.

“Hey, you’re the woman from the pictures my Meme always show me.” She said to me

“Yes sweetie I’m her”

“My meme said one day you would come get me. Is that why I’m here?”

I just started crying looking at her; I had to excuse myself from the table. I was about to open the floodgates and I didn’t want to scare her. Dreka and Mina came to check on me but Lord I just couldn’t pull myself together. I hadn’t physically seen my daughter since the day she was born. All I had even seen were pictures of her, but to just see her and hug her sent me somewhere I didn’t want to be.

I walked back out and everyone was on the patio playing with Paisley. I looked and saw as Cash admired her and I loved the relationship they were building already. I knew he wasn’t too happy with me from the look he gave me once I saw me standingthere looking at them. I had a lot of explain to do and I was going to do everything I needed time.

Kyra, let me holla at you right quick.” Keem said

“What’s up?”

“That lil girl out there she look so much like my mama. Her hair her eyes everything, is that his baby?” I nodded my head. “You lived with us I was around you damn near every day before I went to jail. How did I not know?”

I begin to explain everything to him once I finished I couldn’t stop crying I was a mess and her being here was making me regret the day I gave her to my aunt. She was so innocent and beautiful.

“Come on Dreka I’m ready to roll”

Keem looked at me with so much hate, but I couldn’t understand why he was so mad when he missed half of his child life. I did what was right, his brother loved the streets and bitches more than he loved me and I didn’t believe in abortions so I had to do what I had to do. I was young and didn’t have much I did my part to protect my fucking child.

“I’m sorry sis. Hey, auntie can she come stay the night us?” Dreka asked

“That’s up to her mama baby. Earlier she called and told me pack her up and bring her home.”

“How about I bring her home with me tonight Kyra.”

“That’s cool and auntie you can stay in the guest room”

“No love I’ll go with Mina yall have a lot to talk about” she said and kissed my cheek.

Everyone left including Cash; I wanted to explain everything but he held his hand up and jumped in his car. It was nothing I can say that would explain my actions but I wanted him to know how sorry I was. I did what I had to do and I don’t feel like a bad parent at all. At least I didn’t throw her away to the streets like most parents did and I still took care of her. I made sure she had everything she needed. My aunt didn’t have to spend a dime on her. Cash would soon come around, but he had to understand we were both young and he wasn’t ready for a family.

Chapter Eighteen

CASH

I was riding all around thinking about what just happened and found myself right back in Kyra circular driveway. The moment that little girl walked in the house I knew she was for me. I didn’t understand how Kyra could keep something like this from me though. Paisley looked so much like my mother it was crazy; I wanted answers from Kyra and I needed them now.

I got out of the car and walked in the house I wanted to talk to Kyra and see what was going on. How was it possible we had a child together and she never mentioned anything about it to me? I had talked about having kids with Kyra all the time; I gave her more than enough chances to tell me we had a child together. When I walked in she was sitting in the living room with all the lights all listening to Pandora while sipping on a cup of hot chocolate. It was crazy to me how beautiful this woman was even in the dark she had a way of shinning. I had to admit I was enjoying the scene, but I just couldn’t see myself with a liar.

I sat down and just stared at her she didn’t even look my way; she just told me everything from begging to the end even about how her bitch ass ex husband was the one stalking everyone. I needed to get away from her and clear my mind. Kyra knew me better than anyone else so she knew that I didn’t like liars. I was big on trust and if we didn’t have trust in a relationship then we have nothing. So for everything she had nothing to tell me I wasn’t mad at her I was hurt more than anything, because I had missed so much of my daughter life.

I left Kyra house in hopes that it would take my mind off her secret that she was hiding, but the more I rode around the more I thought about the situation. I can’t believe that I missed 7 years of my daughter life, because he mom decided to be selfish and keep her from me. I know I was a child but I could handle my own. I mean look at me now; I have more than enough money to take care of her. All Ky had to do was stick around and wait things out. Kyra ass was just mad as hell because we couldn’t be together so she got scared and ran away. I thought I would be able to get over it and not be mad at her but I’m mad as hell. A little relived that she told me about her and not let me find it out from someone else but I couldn’t get over the lie.

I just don’t think I’ll be able to forgive her for this one. Before I’m anything I’m a man and can hold my own. I knew the very moment I saw Paisley that she was mine. They didn’t have to say anything; she looked just like my mama. Speaking of ma dukes I couldn’t wait to bring Pai to meet her. I know she would love to finally have a girl.

I rode all around that night without a destination. I ended up in the driveway of the last place I needed to be, but it was like every time my head was going in overdrive her head would make everything go away. I started to back out but who am I fooling after the shit Ky pulled I real life wasn’t fucking with her anymore and I needed to relive some stress.

“Who is it?” Bella asked from the other side of the door

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