Page 38 of Everything We Left Behind

“I’m in love with you. I always have been. And I feel horrible that I took advantage of you.”

What?I stared, just slightly taken aback. My mind worked in a million directions until I came up with the only thing that made sense. “That time in the shower? Why would you think that?” It had been one of the most amazing ten minutes I’d had in the last few years.

“Come on, Carlos. Are you really that dense?”

“Apparently so. Enlighten me.”

She opened her mouth but snapped it shut. Her nostrils flared and she swung around, hair fanning over her shoulders. She walked away.

Now what?I tossed up my hands. “Where are you going?”

“Back to the house.”

“But my Jeep’s that way.” I pointed toward the gallery.

“I’m taking a cab,” she yelled over her shoulder.

I stood in the middle of the sidewalk, dumbstruck. What the hell had just happened?

I picked up Julian and Marcus from the Silvas’ and drove home to a dark and empty house. Natalya didn’t answer when I tapped on her door. I cracked it open. A dull blue glow from the patio light outside revealed a room as empty as the house. Worried, I texted Natalya. She’d been angry, but not enough for her to stay out for the night. Maybe she decided to get a hotel room. That thought left me unsettled because I wanted to see her. We had to discuss Julian and Marcus. We had to talk about me. And we needed to address that huge revelation she dropped on the street like a couch falling off a moving pickup truck. She was not going to drive away from that.

When she didn’t immediately reply, I called. From the corner of the room, I heard the phone vibrate. It was still inside her bag. She’d probably dropped her stuff and went for a walk.

It was late so I tucked the boys in bed and went to my room to change into shorts and a shirt; then I’d go looking for Natalya. She enjoyed evening walks and would most likely be strolling the beach. Or she could be running like a machine and kicking herself about what she told me.

I scooped hands through my hair.Dios!She was in love with me. Had been all this time.

And she’d never said anything.

Why not?

Curtains billowed outward from the windows, catching my attention. The slider to the balcony was open. I walked outside and found Natalya wrapped in a throw, lying on a lounge chair. The air had cooled. She stared off toward the ocean. Water lapped the shore, the sound out of sync with my erratically beating heart. Aside from Raquel, Natalya meant more to me than anyone I’d met in the past few years. She was my only friend, the one person I trusted. She was self-assured, compassionate, and as independent as she was beautiful, I adored everything about her.

I loved her.

But for reasons I couldn’t figure out, she felt guilty about the one time she’d shared herself with me. She thought she’d taken advantage of me. She thought she’d seduced me.

Riiiight.I snorted.

I wiped damp palms on the back of my jeans and eased into the neighboring lounger, facing her. A lone tear leaked down her cheek. I brushed my thumb across the smooth plane of her face and she grasped my wrist, placing a kiss in the center of my palm. She let go and I made a fist.

Her chest rose with a deep inhale. “I have siblings in different countries, thanks to my globe-trotting, can’t-keep-his-dick-in-his-pants father. I love my brother in South Africa and sister in Australia, but Raquel was my favorite. We were the closest.”

“She felt the same about you.”

Natalya tightened the blanket around her shoulders. “Julian’s birth father was an asshole. Best thing he did was give up his rights so you could adopt him. I wanted to hate you when we met.” She gave me an apologetic look. “Raquel fell so hard and so fast for you. I thought she’d gotten herself knocked up by another jerk. It was too quick and you were ...”

“Damaged.”

“No!” she exclaimed. “How could you think that?”

“I was pretty messed up.”

Her mouth curved downward. “Yes, but it was obvious you loved her as much as she loved you. That’s why I hated myself for being attracted to you. During those weeks after Raquel died, I fell in love with you, and then I practically forced myself on you. What kind of sister does that?” She shook her head in disgust and I wanted to fold her in my arms, kiss away the guilt.

“Nat,” I said. She wiped her tears. “Nat, look at me.” She did and her beautiful green eyes glittered in the moonlight. “You didn’t force me to have sex with you.”

“I went into your shower knowing you were hurting. I took advantage of that pain.”

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