Page 15 of King Daddy
Banks:All right. Just checking in. See you later.
After a day of sitting still, quietly showing Beau all his toys, Kylo had looked a hell of a lot better. Beau had felt okay about leaving him alone again. The guilt set in almost immediately. ExceptBeau wasn’t so sure it was guilt he experienced. It felt a hell of a lot like he missed Kylo. He needed space to think.
The PlayPen seemed extra busy. Beau sat with his boys. He wanted to be content with that. As he had told Kylo, they were the only good thing he had ever done. Sometimes, he thought he should be proud of the great men he had created, despite his every fuck-up, and walk away. Maybe that was the best way he could show his love. Plus, The PlayPen was just an uncomfortable place for him, and Beau wasn’t uncomfortable anywhere. The world bent to him. Not the other way around. Unfortunately, too many people here had seen him weak. His ex was here with his new husband. His only family sat nearby, enjoying their spouses. Beau had never fit. He was the black sheep of the family he created. For years, he had forced dinners with just the boys at their favorite restaurant for a guys' night... and an excuse to be free from the drama at home. He had demanded they come to the house so they could see Tabitha. Beau had pushed, tugged, pulled, and he was fucking tired. He didn’t know how to fix this and sometimes he wondered if he should. Maybe they were better off apart. They would never forgive him for all his sins. In his growing anger and frustration, a thought hit. He had never apologized. There were a lot of things he didn’t feel bad about. There were even more things he still didn’t think he was in the wrong about. But no matter what the world thought of him, Beau loved his kids.
“I’m sorry.”
Boone and Banks both stiffened. Their heads turned away from their husbands to focus on him.
Beau couldn’t stop now. “It occurs to me I haven’t actually said that to you two. You’re my sons. I love you both more than anything and I don’t know how—”
“Please don’t.” Beau’s teeth snapped together at Boone’s angry-sounding interruption. Banks and Boone looked completely closed to him. Boone didn’t stop there. “We’re trying with you, Dad, but we are not a family who talks things out. That’s not a conversation that’ll go well for you, so let’s just not.”
Beau’s jaw popped from holding back his temper. The pair looked ready to throw hands rather than speak. They were right. He wasn’t a good person. Beau was the bad guy in everyone’s story. There would be no redemption arch for him. He had brought them into this world, provided for them, giving them damn good lives. Beau had done his job. They didn’t need him anymore.
The pair went back to watching their husbands. Beau counted slowly to sixty in his head. He wanted a good minute to pass before he excused himself from their lives. That was the apology they deserved. They didn’t want to hear about the nightmare of losing their mom to drugs and alcohol decades before she actually died. They didn’t want to know what it was like to watch the love of his life turn into someone else and what it was like to live twenty-four hours a day with a raging addict. His bitterness had driven him down a lot of dark roads. He regretted a few of them, but he would never regret being their father. Even if he was done.
Beau opened his mouth to say a quick goodbye. A movement nearby caught his eye. Kylo stood at the mouth of the entrance,looking unsure. He wore teddy bear pajamas with a hot pink tutu. It took Beau a second to realize he wore a huge grin at just the sight of Kylo. Kylo’s gaze landed on him. His expression cleared, as if he spotted exactly what he searched for. Every dark thought disappeared as Kylo headed his way. In fact, everything vanished except the adorable man Beau couldn’t see anything else from. He wasn’t bad in Kylo’s eyes. Beau desperately needed him.
Without a single second of hesitation, Beau scooted back his chair and pulled Kylo into his lap as Kylo reached his side. “Hi, baby.”
“Hi, Daddy. I hope it’s okay for me to be here.” He bit his bottom lip, looking guilty. “I don’t want to cut into time with your sons.”
He was so goddamn happy to see Kylo. “You’re not. I’m glad you’re here.”
Kylo’s light blue gaze stayed locked on him, and Beau couldn’t look away. He swore he felt Boone’s and Banks’ stares, but Kylo held him captive with his pure heart. “I didn’t know if you’d be here, but I also hated to show up at your door announced. But then I remembered the free passes this guy gave me and I hoped—” His gaze moved toward the boys. “Oh, hey. Hi.” He waved at Banks. “That’s who gave me the passes. Well, his husband did.”
Banks smiled and dipped his chin. “Hello again.”
Beau cleared his throat. He hadn’t wanted anyone to know Kylo. Beau could never be ashamed of him. He just didn’t want Kylotainted by his world. It was too late now. “That’s my son, Banks. He owns the place.” He motioned toward Boone. “My other son, Boone.” He stroked Kylo’s back. “This is Kylo.”
They dipped their chins in greeting.
Kylo being Kylo, he never dimmed. “You both look very much like your dad.” His gaze moved back to Beau. “I see why you’re so proud. They look every bit as amazing as you described.” Beau’s throat swelled. A huge realization overwhelmed him. He wanted a relationship with his kids, but they didn’t want him. Kylo did, and Beau was stupid for holding himself back. Tabitha was gone. He had lost all the battles with everyone in his life a long time ago. It was okay to look toward the future. Kylo was completely oblivious to Beau’s inner battles or his surrender. “I brought coloring books in case you weren’t here.” He blushed. “I accidentally left them in the car. It would’ve been kind of awkward if you hadn’t been here. I’m not so sure I really fit in.”
Beau brought Kylo’s hand to his lips and kissed it. “Me either. Would you like to see my home instead?”
Kylo’s smile was everything. “Of course.” He slipped from Beau’s lap, but Beau didn’t release his hand. Without looking back, he headed for the door with Kylo at his side.
“Don’t you need to say bye to your boys?”
“We’ve said our goodbyes.” Now it was time to stop forcing them to endure his company. Beau wanted to be where he was wanted for once.
With Beau’s assurance his car would be fine in The PlayPen parking garage, Kylo rode with him. He was a little nervous today. It had taken all his courage to seek out Beau. Then Beau’s sons had been there. Kylo wasn’t so sure that first meeting had gone well. The pair had looked at him, totally horrified. That couldn’t be good. Now they were headed through a massive iron gate into what could only be described as a compound, and Kylo felt very small. Guards were posted everywhere. It was uncomfortable. There was no hiding from Beau’s wealth and power here, or his crimes.
Kylo couldn’t say why he was so unbothered by the danger he was probably in. Likely, it was simply years of friendship with Reggie. Since that had nearly gotten him killed, Kylo should be running for his life right now. But Beau looked at him in a way Reggie never had and Kylo was too fucking intrigued to back down. He had always been dumb like that.
They didn’t speak. Beau kept him tucked against his side and kissed his hand several times. Kylo lived inside his own mind, trying to decipher every move Beau made. He felt the way Beau’s guards meticulously kept their eyes averted, as if they fought against years of training attempting not to stare. He wondered what it was about the situation that left them fascinated. Kylo tended to overthink, though. Likely, Beau had hundreds of menand women he treated the way he did Kylo. Kylo wasn’t special. That much he knew.
After parking in a line of expensive cars, guards poured out. The door opened for them and Beau helped him out. It was sweet. Kylo felt treasured when he was with Beau. He could easily get addicted. That was his biggest fault, really. He got attached to people who didn’t feel the same.
Kylo fought to tear his gaze away from Beau to inspect his surroundings. The house was a bit cold, truthfully. It was filled with priceless antiques and artwork. Beau was so much better than a cold museum of a home. Kylo was no stranger to wealth. Beau was so much more interesting than all that.
“I know it’s a lot.” Beau laughed and looked his way, catching him staring. His smile slipped away. Heat filled his eyes. “You’re not one to care about any of this, I know.”
Kylo tried to pretend interest in his surroundings. “If you have something you’re especially proud for me to see, let me know. Otherwise, I’m just here to be with you.” Kylo wouldn’t play games. He had done that in the past and it cost him years of his life, getting therapy. From now on, he vowed to be straightforward and honest about his wants. It saved time for everyone involved.
“What does it say about me that I’m not proud of any of this?”
