Page 59 of Destroyer

An image flashed in Ru’s mind, a memory of a nightmare — Lady Maryn’s body, molecule by molecule, coming apart... blackening… turning to dust and fading… until it was nothing.

She wouldn’t lose control; she wouldn't vomit. Not here. Bile rose in her throat nonetheless, choking.

“I'm fine,” she heard herself say, the same words coming again and again. Meaningless.

“She's a bit pale,” came Archie's hissed voice.

Another voice, Gwyneth’s, saying something soft, her delicate hands against Ru’s shoulder.

“She needs rest,” said Fen, his words cutting through the fog. Then he was at Ru’s side, urging her to her feet.

He said something to Gwyneth and Archie as he steered Ru away from the table and out of the mess hall, but everything was muffled in Ru’s head. All she knew was the rush of blood in her ears, increasingly blurred vision, the artifact calming her — calming her, and yet it wasn't enough.

Finally outside the mess hall, Ru stumbled toward the nearest wall, leaning against it, sliding down until she was half-crouched. She turned to press her bruised cheek to the cool stone. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe.

“You’re taking in too much air,” said Fen. “You’re hyperventilating.”

“I know that,” Ru hissed through gritted teeth. “You think I don’t know that? Who’s the scientist here?” She still couldn’t unclench her hands. “I don’t need you to tell me anything.”

Hot tears streamed from the corners of her tightly shut eyes.

A strong, warm hand found hers. Frightened and embarrassed, hoping none of the academics had seen or understood what was happening, Ru allowed Fen to help her upright again, to lead her slowly back to the dormitory wing. It wasn’t far, and by the time they got to her room, her breathing had steadied a bit.

“Listen to me,” said Fen, taking her shoulders in his hands, ever so gently. His gaze was so intense that he almost looked frightened. “You’re right. You don’t need me, not for anything. You’re Ruellian Delara.”

She sniffed, dissuading the tears that desperately wanted to fall.

“But I promised I would keep you safe,” he continued. “And when you panic… when you lose control like that…” he shook his head. “If the artifact truly is magic, it could react…poorlyto strong emotion. Not just yours. Anyone’s.”

“Why do you say that?” She was shaking, clinging to him shamelessly.

“Because I've studied magic.”

Ru stared up at him through tear-soaked lashes, taking in his disheveled black hair and his fraught expression. Had she heard him correctly? Was she delirious? “You’ve what?”

He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again they were far clearer, the fear gone, replaced by a steady resolve. “I’ve studied magic. I told you I was interested in the occult. I've read extensively on the subject. Magical objects, in theory at least, can react to all sorts of stimuli. Emotions, words, temperature, the touch of water. Anything.”

A hot tear ran down Ru's cheek. “My skin.”

“Ru,” said Fen, his voice low. “It wasn't your fault. Magic can be wildly unpredictable. Whatever the artifact is, whatever it responds to…”

“I understand,” said Ru, exhausted, drained, weak. Even the artifact felt quiet in her mind, as if it, too, was overwhelmed. “I can't lose control of my emotions around the artifact.”

“That’s not—“ he began, but Ru interrupted him.

“That is what you meant. It's all right. I agree.” She sniffed, wiping her eyes with the back of one hand. “I didn’t realize you truly believed in magic. I thought you were just…”

He smiled faintly. “What, appeasing you? I wouldn’t lie about something like that.” Then his eyes glazed as if remembering something long past, a memory he would rather forget. “Believeisn’t the right word. I accept it. Despite the harm it can cause.”

“You mean the Destruction,” she said.

His eyes snapped to hers.

“Yes,” he said darkly. “How else can we explain it? Take what we know, what was found there, what we’ve seen.”

“It would be foolish to assume anything different,” Ru said. “But the others won’t. And intuition won’t prove anything, not to Archie and Gwyn or the regent. Even if you and I believe… We have to prove this strictly by scientific method.”

“I hadn't doubted that,” said Fen, his expression softening. “Ru, you are…”

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