Page 60 of Destroyer

He straightened then, stepped back, away from her. The few inches of distance seemed to yawn like a gulf between them. Disappointment flooded Ru’s chest; she wanted to close the gap.

“I’m what?” she asked, resisting Fen's pull.

He swept a hand over his face. “You’re probably exhausted. Get some rest. We’ll all need it if we’re going to confront that rock tomorrow.”

He left Ru standing in the doorway of her room, his coat and hair waving darkly behind him as he stalked away. She knew she would see him in the morning, so why did her chest ache at his departure?

Lonely and seeking solace, she reached out to the artifact. As always, it answered, squeezing her heart as gently as a butterfly might alight on a flower petal. But now, alone outside her room with the remnants of panic pumping through her, even such a light, delicate touch felt like ice in her veins.

CHAPTER20

“Iguess I don’t understand the relationship dynamic,” said Gwyneth. She pulled another book from the shelf and handed it to Ru, who was already hefting a heavy pile of books.

They were in one of the many Tower libraries, hunting for more tomes that might assist in their research. It had been two days since the deliberation, time during which Ru devoted every free moment to preparing for their research. She had made a meticulous list of every tool, device, or item they might need from the palace that wasn’t already available at the Tower, and sent it by pigeon to the regent.

Ru had tasked everyone in the research group with studying her paper on magic, noting anything that could apply to the artifact. Even Ru had forgotten some of the paper’s nuances and was eager to reread it, to apply her own methodology to this new project.

But the paper was only a basis — they would need more books, more avenues of study than what Ru had presented. So, she and Gwyneth paid visits to the libraries, one by one.

This particular library was in one of the Tower’s smaller turrets, a circular library with books all the way up to the ceiling. There were several levels and a spiral staircase right in the center, like a black metal corkscrew. Ru and Gwyneth had started at the top and gradually made their way down, picking up books in any subject or genre as long as it sounded even somewhat promising.

Ru looked skeptically at the book Gwyneth had just handed to her:Matters of the Mind and Heartby Lady Isabella Bosomme. “I’m pretty sure this is smut,” she said.

“It’s romance, actually. You didn’t answer my question.” Gwyneth continued pulling books from the shelves, returning them when they didn’t pass whatever test she was using to select them.

“You didn’t ask one,” said Ru. “Why have you added a romance book to the pile?”

“Because I want to read it,” said Gwyneth, her tone airy. “Iaskedabout your relationship with Fen.”

“What about it?”

Gwyneth sighed and stepped down from the short ladder she’d been standing on as she perused the shelves. “Ru, sometimes I want to shake you until your stubbornness falls out. What is goingonwith you two? Are you…youknow.” She fixed Ru with a wide-eyed, meaningful stare.

Ru feigned ignorance. “You’ll have to speak a dialect I understand, Gwyn.”

Gwyn made a sound of frustration, which elicited a shushing from other academics using the library. “It’s just bizarre,” she said in a lower voice. “You come back from the Shattered City with a strange man in tow? I mean, heishandsome. His hair is…” she cleared her throat. “But the way he behaves around you, tracking your movements, it’s almost as if he’s your bodyguard or your very attractive manservant or something. And the way he looks at you. His attraction to you is so obvious it’s almost unseemly. I just want to make sure you’re not rushing into something.”

Ru carefully schooled her expression to hide the fact that Gwyneth’s mention of Fen being attracted to her made her skin tingle, her heart speed. Avoiding her friend’s gaze, Ru removed the romance book from the pile and handed it back to her. “You’ve been reading too many of these.”

“I’m not blind,” said Gwyneth, returning the novel to the stack of books in Ru’s arms. “And I’m not trying to be overbearing, I just want toknow. We’re best friends, Ru. Spill your heart to me. You’ve been so… different since you came back.”

A painful sadness rose in Ru, and she wished she wasn’t holding so many books; she would have pulled Gwyneth into a hug.

She knew shelookeddifferent. She was bruised and battered, her face still marred from the guard’s attack. And when she’d looked in the mirror that morning, she had been struck by the depth of pain that stared back from her brown eyes. Her skin was no longer pallid, but she was still paler than she was used to. And with her long dark hair and the faint purplish shadows under her eyes, she felt like a creature of the underworld.

But that wasn’t what Gwyneth meant. She’d seen the inner change in Ru, seen her lose herself to panic at dinner, seen what came after the loss of the dig site. A small destruction of Ru’s own.

“I know,” Ru said quietly. “I’m sorry. I owe you more, I owe you—”

“You don’t owe me anything,” said Gwyneth, her tone softening as she spoke. “You’re like a sister to me. I only wanted you to know that you can talk to me. About anything.”

Ru sniffed, valiantly holding back tears of gratitude.

She knew Gwyneth would never judge her, never think any less of her no matter who she associated with. No matter what she did. But when she imagined telling her best friend about the artifact and the way it spoke to her… the way it had influenced her mind at the Shattered City. She couldn’t. The terror of Gwyneth pulling away, of frightening her friend or losing her trust, was too painful for Ru to contemplate.

“I know,” said Ru.

She stared down at the cover of the romance book, the illustration of a woman leaning over a shirtless man, expressions of lust on their beautiful faces. When Gwyneth had first come to the Tower, she and Ru had often spent hours looking for the lewdest books they could find in the libraries. They had read passages aloud on benches in the courtyard, or sat crowded together on one of their beds, giggling and blushing in the lamplight.

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